I was thinking about it today while heating up some Clam Chowder soup… In the past 4 days I’ve eaten 8 different animals. Thanks Noah!

Dane Cook : Your 15 minutes are up. Please don’t try to take Baseball Postseason with you on your way out.

At what point after deciding that the “Frosted Flakes Teamwork Play of the Game” should be an unassisted put out at third do you think someone should point out that that’s retarded?

I don’t think when Handel was writing The Hallelujah Chorus he was hoping someday it would be used to accompany two cartoon bears running to take a dump in a port-o-potty.

Jason Marquis sucks at baseball.

Odd how all it took was one day of CNN’s coverage of Posh Spice’s arrival in LA, occasionally interrupted by quotes from Rosie O’Donnell about Trump and Hasselbeck (2 people who apparently didn’t forget it’s currently not 2 months ago) to make me long for the days when Paris Hilton was the top story. Good to know there’s nothing else at all newsworthy going on.

Do you think the media knows that real people don’t care about Rosie O’Donnell?

I think it’s right around the time I thought to myself “Awesome, her new album is almost out!” when I realized I didn’t just like Avril Lavigne ironically.

Know what’s really cool about all this snow in April?

Me neither.

So raw baby carrots are kind of like Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans from Harry Potter… only there are only 3 flavors: Carrot, Dirt, and Tree Bark.