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What do I do?

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 1:16 PM

Lately I had desperately pondered, spent my nights awake and I wondered what I could have done in another way to make you stay.

So here's the question: I was at Max & Ermas last night with Swac and Mandace. Swac was driving, and when we were leaving, just as we got into the car, a really cute girl showed up in her car, and parked near us. As she looked over, I looked back and smiled, and she smiled. Mandace made some comment which I casually disregarded, as a girl smiling at you isn't quite the same as a girl giving you her phone number or anything. But then as she was heading towards the door of the restaurant and we were set to pull out, I looked back at her, and she turned back and gave me another big smile. At this point, what is a guy like me to do? Accept the smile, feel like a kewl guy, and leave (being sure to mention it to as many people that couldn't possibly give a damn as possible)? Hop out of the car and try to talk to this girl, and accept the inevitable mace/pepper spray in the eyes? Hang out in the Max & Ermas parking lot for the next 2 weeks in the hopes that this girl might return, and then initiate a conversation that would go a little something like this:

Ron: Hi! Remember me? We smiled a couple times a few days ago in this very parking lot.

Girl: Um... No.

Ron: Oh... um... shit!

I posed this question at the Pick yesterday, and the response seemed to be "yeah.. you've got nothing." But I am seriously asking, what is there to do in such a situation that wouldn't come across as creepy or horribly desperate that still provides at least a slim chance for increased interaction with said girl?

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Adam

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 1:18 PM

I'm biting my tongue. I have advice (given last night at the pick, quickly and efficiently discarded by you) but I'm in no position to offer advice. I'm not a ladies man, I have no girlfriend, and the last time I spoke to a woman I didn't know I was in the doctors office.

Ron

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 1:23 PM

I'm trying to remember what the advice was... For some reason I just recall it involving never seeing this girl again. Is that right?

Tuuk

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 4:14 PM

According to some dubious internet sources, the correct thing to do was to make a few light-hearted comments, possibly a joke or two, and directly ask for her home phone number, all done in less than 5 minutes. Supposedly this works, and gets you dates and such, but I've never tried it out. I'm usually satisfied with just mustering the courage to talk to people I don't know. Usually afterwards I feel ten feet tall, and it doesn't matter to me that I didn't get their phone number.

Adam

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 4:25 PM

Ron, my 'advice' wasn't all that useful. It was basically 'X is creepy, Y is on the lin, and Z would have been swell, but awkward, considering the consequences'. Howver, I think in any case, you should have bit your knuckle and said


damn.

Ron

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 4:26 PM

Hrm.. I guess then the question is (assuming that advice works, and I must say it seems perfectly cromulent), how do i initiate the conversation? Me hopping out of a moving car would be fairly noticeable, I think. Were I just in the lobby/waiting room or something, I'll bet I could muster a "hi there" with out much difficulty, but the purposeful change of direction discards any pretense of casualness.

I've learned a few things in the past few weeks though:
1.) Get her number right away. Trying to work up to asking for it doesn't work well.

2.) If you ask her out, set a specific date right away. The whole "you're busy this weekend, so I'll give you a call next week and try for sometime then" thing is instant death.

3.) Self deprication should be used sparingly. A little bit and you seem confident and funny. Too much and you seem like a self-loathing loser.

I hear you about the 10 feet tall thing though. Man, sometimes just the illusion someone showing remote interest in you is enough to get you through the week. I've had my fill of not being wanted.

Tuuk

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 4:44 PM

Oh my gosh! For once I actually think your right on track with this one Ron! It must be that my stellar advice is finally sinking in. Now if I could only follow it myself....

Ron

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 4:48 PM

Wait a minute.. Tuuk and I agree on something? ...
I'm scared too, kids...

I will admit that the whole "specify a date" thing was hammered home to me by you after a particularly painful failure. The self-deprication thing is just common sense after some thinking, although I think at least one girl found at least a full hour of me (and her) making fun of me quite entertaining. Guess it depends if they know you're kidding or not. As for asking for the number.. that's just experience talking. You can't give yourself an opportunity to back out, or you will every single time.

jho

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 6:03 PM

I have it from sources (other girls) that pickup lines actually do work at times. It's kindof a crap shoot, but who the hell cares, you'll probably never see them again.



One that worked: "Didn't I see you in the latest Victoria's secret catalogue?". I couldn't believe it either, but the girl said it worked on her.



You could always try flicking the girl off like in 8-mile. It sure worked for Eminem.



One of the most annoying things that can happen, no matter how you start a conversation with a girl, is when they don't reciprocate. You say something and they just giggle or say "yeah, thats nice", blah blah. If they don't give you some sort of response that you can work with you could be up the crick without a paddle. If you have to carry the conversation like your talking to a wall, its time to haul-ass out of there.

Ron

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 6:20 PM

Wow.. um.. These girls that said the lines worked on them... were they, uh... how should I say.. complete ditzes? If i used that Victoria's Secret line I'd have to kick my own ass. Did they say what about it worked on them? I'm forced to believe / hope [for the sake of all mankind] that it was more the confidence of the guy rather than the actual words used. The flicking her off thing seems pretty kewl, expecially when you're old and gray, and your grandkids ask you how you met:

"Oh, I was sitting on a park bench, and your grandpa walked by and gave me the finger. I thought he was so charming."

Your really right about the not reciprocating thing. I've been on a few dates when the girl didn't speak at all. They somehow managed to answer complex opinion qustions with one words answers.. I'd imagine hell is a little something like that. Your stuck for all eternity with a girl who refuses to ever initiate conversation, and does nothing but kill conversations you've started by giving a response that can not possibly be followed up.

Makes you think certain people ought to wear T-shirts that read "I'm not interesting", but then I fear my own wardrobe may be forcibly altered as well.

I don't know what it is.. But some girls I can just talk to.. probably forever. Others it's like pulling teeth, and it never seems to get any better. I'd like to think that when it's right, it just works... but does that imply that when it just works that it is then right? I dunno.

sven

| Wednesday, April 30, 2003 | 7:26 PM

hey

small correction from last times web whateveryoucallthem.

Josh = peege.

and i do like the choice of picture for me, except that it don't.

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