Dear Ramblewood.

I couldn't help but notice that the apartment right next to mine is now vacant. As I'm certain you intend to rent this space out to some new people in the near future, I just thought I'd ask.. nay, beg you to do me this small favor:

Certainly you would agree that such a demand is not unreasonable, as you no doubt have many applicants, and thus have your choice of who to move in where. This being the case, I have one small addition to my request:

Grandville is a nice place, with many attractive men and women. While each person's definition of beauty varies a bit, I think there are certain physical qualities that we would agree lead to an individual being labeled "hot". Therefore, I leave this judgment in your very capable hands... And while I don't wish to appear ungrateful for all that you are doing thus far, I have one more addendum that needs addressing:

I mean, if they're already taken, what's the point? Am I right? I knew you'd understand. And you know, since you're going to all this trouble, You may as well just go all the way:

I give you plenty of money each month. You're going to do this for me, and you're going to like it!