Things that I hate

  • Milk that’s at the expiration date, and you’re not quite sure if it smells like how milk is supposed to smell, and you’re not quite hungry/thirsty enough to just risk it, but you don’t want to throw it away if it’s still good… so you just stand there, repeatedly sniffing the milk.
  • Movie Trailers that show scenes from the end of the movie, so halfway through the movie you remember that scene, and realize exactly how the movie is going to end.
  • Squirrels that aren’t content with just taking food from the bird feeder, but have to break the feeder, so that birds can’t use it anymore.
  • An advertisement or trailer that takes a popular piece of music, and then cuts out snippets in the middle of the piece to make it fit into the time alloted… leaving the piece sounding jerky and the lyrics (if there are lyrics) completely non-sensical.
  • Tyra Banks
  • When you are home alone, and you have absolutely no motivation to do anything at all, and it’s still much too early to go to bed, but the idea of doing anything, even just watching TV, sounds so awful that you find yourself wandering from room to room desperately searching for nothing at all.
  • Television shows that are canceled midway through a fairly complex story arc. Some people require closure.
  • Cherry Flavored Coffee.
  • Truck commercials that advertise how great their truck is by either doing something that the truck can not physically do or something you are expressly forbidden to do.
  • When you are lying in bed trying to sleep, and then you see a spider run across the covers… You dash for something to kill it with/turn on the lights, and when you return, the spider is gone… and you realize you will not be sleeping that evening.
  • When a TV show advertises an upcoming episode using different clips than they did before, so you think it’s a new episode, but it’s really a rerun from a while ago.
  • Dealing with health insurance.
  • When “this should just take a second” is still not finished hours later…
  • Remembering that you were boiling water on the stove just in time to discover a completely empty saucepan sitting on the burner.
  • Coming up with the absolute perfect retort approximately 4 months after it would have been useful.
  • Waiting for the phone.
  • In Video games, when a final boss has an unblockable attack, so if he/it happens to do that move, you die… and you just have to keep playing until you manage to kill the thing before that move shows up. How is that fun?
  • Scientology
  • About 50% of “Red Sox Nation”… the half that joined about 3 seconds after they won the World Series in 2004.
  • Mayonnaise
  • Comment Spammers. Is there anything more unquestionably evil?
  • Local News that decides that a High School football game is more important than something like a war in the Middle East.
  • “A Very Special ER.”
  • Comcast/Verizon Customer Service
  • MTV

4 thoughts on “Things that I hate

  1. I absolutely agree with everything, except Mayonnaise. But we’ve had this conversation before, so I’ll let you have that one.

    And comment spammers should all be killed.

  2. I had Mayo on my turkey and ham sandwich today. I even let it sit out for an hour before consuming it so the Mayo would have that special “extra little bite.”

    Yep, thought you’d like to hear that.

  3. Dude, check out this picture of our friend from high school, can you believe she does porn now? Do you need legal bud or a bigger penis? You can get it all here:

    Just kidding. This is Mike (Common Shiner). This list is awesome, *especially* mayonnaise (sorry Morg) and ER, Comcast, health insurance, MTV, and the 4-month-late retort.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *