Dear News reporters: You are not stand-up comedians. Stop it!

Dear stand-up comedians: You are not news reporters. Stop it!

Comcast Still sucks. I just had to reenter my account settings, and it wouldn’t let me proceed until i entered the incorrect phone number I was assured was corrected on 6 occasions. Seriously…wtf?

Dear CNN: Thank you for the 2 hour in depth report on Britney Spears’ new haircut and “out of control” lifestyle. That, added to the non-stop Anna Nicole Smith coverage has got me completely caught up on what’s going on in the world. Just out of curiosity, are we still at war or anything?

Dear Kay Jewelers: I’m willing to bet more kisses started with alcohol than will ever start with your diamonds.