Eyes and Lasers (Aka : The Sum of All Fears)

[Explanation: I’m sitting in the ophthalmology office. Kristin is getting the laser eye surgery right now as I type this. I’m doing some work, but I left this little sticky note open because there’s just too much weird stuff going on, and I knew you’d appreciate it.]

First off, there’s a elderly couple in here. The old dude has a patch over one eye. For the past half hour he’s been frantically trying to get a hold of his son at Steelcase. Their understanding of technology (in terms of how phones work, and what private / personal number vs 1-888-STEELCASE numbers are is a bit lacking. e.g. “I couldn’t get him on his personal extension, but it says to call this Toll Free number. Maybe he’s there.) Anyway, they just did get a hold of his son, and he was explaining what was wrong with him. The terms “eye leakage” and “cutting two sections from the eye” were used. I threw up in my mouth. Seriously, that’s nasty.

Also, I’m watching a doctor, a secretary, and an elderly receptionist struggle to figure out how to print… they finally got it working… only to print off legal forms onto envelope labels, which were still in the printer instead of normal paper.. They were not pleased… but laughed it off. Then the studio audience laughed, and they cut to commercial.

An Observation: People walking in to this office are, for the most part, very scared. They act nervous around the desk.. unsure of what exactly they are supposed to say. That might just be a “people in a doctor’s office” thing.. but I didn’t notice it nearly as much when I was going to my knee appointments. (Also note, my knee is doing awesome. I am very pleased) Anyway, this whole thing makes a lot of sense to me [beyond the obvious eye phobia]. A broken arm or leg, you kinda assume that you’re own body is gonna pull its weight in making sure that gets fixed.. and you feel a bit separated from the injury.. Like, if my leg hurts, I can look down and say “yeah, that’s what hurts” But with your eye.. I’d think you’d be afraid that that kinda injury is not going to fix itself. It’s too delicate.. and too important to feel casual about. Also, you can’t look at it to see if it’s okay.. Also, it’s disgusting.

“All I need is your body” It was just said, and I almost giggled.

Epilogue: Kristin‘s surgery went very well, and she rested at my place the rest of the evening… cheating at least once, when she tried to watch a little TV, and got caught by me… so I described what was going on for The Office and My Name is Earl. We headed back to the doctor the next morning (Today) and all appears well so far. Huzzah!

3 thoughts on “Eyes and Lasers (Aka : The Sum of All Fears)

  1. In the early 90’s I had RK, which is like LASIK but with a knife instead of a laser. I got to actually see the knife come in and cut my eye. What a trip. I got a valium after each eye though. :)

    I can’t even begin to tell you how worth it it is. Beyond words.

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