UPDATE: We have a winner!

$201.08!

That’d make the closest guesser $185.34. Go fig, an accountant. Well done, Sven! You win.. well, nothing, really. I’ll give you 50 meaningless points.

Okay, If you haven’t yet, you’d best Post your Guess on the Change Contest. At the end of the week I’ll show off all the guesses, and reveal the actual total.

From the Nintendo keynote speech at the 2006 Game Developers Conference in San Jose this morning:

11:29: Iwata takes the stage. There’s one more new adventure for you today: The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass for Nintendo DS. Short clip plays: cel-shaded-style graphics. Top screen: mostly maps. Action is on the lower screen. Use touch screen to draw things — transitioning the bottom screen input to the top. Launches later this year — from Aonuma and team (makers of Wind Waker).

Ron’s Head Asplode!

Update: Video!

It took quite some time, but I finally filled my giant Coke bottle with change, and now you’ve got to guess how much money is in it. The winner is the closest to the correct number (none of that Price is Right closest without going over stuff here). You have my word that the thing is filled with nothing but change, and that there’s a healthy mixture of quarters, dimes, nickels, and pennies. It’s a 64 Oz. bottle, and it’s heavy. Here’s what it looks like:

Here’s a close-up look at it:

The Finger

• Any commercial that defines a “true fan” of a sport/team as someone that purchases a particular [fairly unnecessary] service or product. I’m looking at you, Cingular.
• Team USA Baseball. Not just because you lost. I can handle you losing. But you looked awful out there, and shouldn’t have even won most of the few games you won. You beat South Africa, and that was about it. You guys looked bad, and deserved to get booed and lose.
• Snow. Remember when it was really nice outside just a few days ago, and I could play catch in the park? You ruined that, snow. You’re not wanted here.. go away.
• “It’s not delivery. It’s DiGiorno.” Right.. We get it. Why does that make lying and being awful to your spouse okay?
• WBC Announcers. Not all of you. Just the one who went on and on about how the foreign fans were so much better than the MLB fans because they “rang cow bells and waved flags.” You sir, are dumb. Also, everyone knows that a 3-2 pitch is “an important pitch.”.. And waving an American Flag at a MLB game would be pointless.
• “New York”. The girl from Flavor of Love. You are awful. I’m glad you “lost”.
• Enterprise Rent-a-Car: “They pick you up? They should be number 1.” “They are number one!”

You all get the finger

The Fist

• Korean Baseball team. Undefeated through 2 full rounds [then they lost to Japan in the semi-final]. They were fun to watch, and for making the final pool, all the players no longer have to do 3 years of military service. Nice!
• Josh and Donna [from the West Wing]: You two are adorable together.
• March Madness: For a short time, basketball is fun to watch.
• Nick Hornby’s A Long Way Down: I’m only a little way into it, but I really like it.
• WBC: Baseball tournaments are fun!
• The Bourne Identity: What a great movie. Bourne Ultimatum begins filming this summer!
• The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess. Still not coming out until the fall, but will be using the Revolution’s new controller. Huzzah!

Nicely done. Punch my fist!

As promised, the third part of my über-dork trilogy.

The Fishing Tournament

As you may recall, I was all set to “cheat” in the fishing tournament. I had caught a Stringfish, and was holding on to it until the tournament date, when I would show up with the fish, act like I had just caught it, and claim my sweet trophy. Seems good, yeah? This is where things fall apart.

Tournament day. I show up and talk to the mayor. He says that the prize will go to the person who catches the biggest fish. The Stringfish is big, but I started to fear that it was not the biggest fish one could catch. Well, what are the odds that someone else is going to catch something bigger, really? Hrm.. I really wanted this trophy, so I decided to check my records to see which fish that I had caught before was the biggest. Tuna! Turns out the Tuna is huge. So no biggie, I’d just hold on to my string fish, and try to catch a tuna, and if I didn’t, I’m sure I could still win with my Stringfish. (Stringfish are worth 15,000, where Tuna are worth 7,000.. so I could actually make some money on this deal as well, as you have to turn in your fish to win the trophy. I began fishing.

Sea Bass. Sea Bass. Sea Bass…..

A few hours and a million Sea Bass later, I’ve still got no Tuna. A neighbor swung by and started talking about Deena, another neighbor that’s so cheery you can’t help but hate her. She’s not much of a angler, but whatever. This dude is talking about how she’s caught the biggest fish already. I decided to check it out, so I talked toe the Mayor. Turns out Deena caught a Tuna! Well… I spent all day on the ocean, and I never saw Deena, so I don’t know how she could have caught a tuna… something smelled fishy. [Yes. bad puns will make this post less nerdy.]

What I did next can best be described with pictures:

I saw some serious shit.

So I traveled back in time to the previous evening, and did some more fishing, convinced that the tournament had wiped the ocean clean of any worthwhile fish. After a long while, I did indeed catch a tuna! Huzzah!. With fish in hand, I traveled back forward in time to 11:59am. The tournament started at Noon. Exactly at noon I stood in the city center, and talked to the Mayor first thing. I handed him my tuna with pride, and waited for his congratulations, when he informed me that my tuna was smaller than the tuna that Deena had already submitted. WTF?! First off, the tournament just started, and Deena is no where to be seen, she couldn’t have given it to the mayor already, because I’ve been in the city center the whole time. Second, how is her tuna bigger!? Something was definitely up.. and even the mayor was involved in it. This called for drastic measures… I did what had to be done.

I few minutes later, I was comfortably fishing along the ocean… it was sunny and warm, and there were butterflies fluttering all over the place. It was July, 2005. I’m told there were big fish to be caught in the summertime, and screw it, if they were going to cheat, I was going to cheat better. A short time later, I had this to show for my efforts:

That there is the Ocean Sunfish. At 9.75 feet, it dwarfs the 7.5 foot tuna. Take that, Deena!. With giant fish in hand, I decided to head back (well, forward) to my time… resisting the urge to catch all the amazing butterflies and fish that were everywhere around me. I returned to my time, and my town was completely overrun with weeds!!

I turned in my fish to the mayor, and he announced that I was in the lead with the largest fish. I spent the rest of the day picking weeds throughout the entire town, while my neighbors remarked how they hadn’t seen me in many months. I was weary but satisfied with my ill-gotten certain victory when I returned to my house.. opened the door, and was shocked to see my whole house filled with cockroaches! They scurried around everywhere, making a sickening clickity-click sound as they ran. I chased after them, and as I ran them over, small cockroach shaped ghosts rose up from their broken bodies. After a few minutes, they were gone, and the entire ordeal was over. [Note: the cockroaches horrified Rachel, and were enough to convince her never to mess with long-distance time travel.]

[Epilogue: I won the tournament, and got my nifty trophy. I made Deena's new catch-phrase "I cheat!", and wrote her a nasty letter. Two days later she visited me and gave me her picture, claiming I was the best friend she's ever had. What a weird world.]

The much anticipated “Part 2″ of what can only be described as the “Nerdiest Blog Entries” since this one. With the fishing tournament just ahead (and believing victory already well in hand), Ron of Hyrule heads to the museum.

Museum Tour: Fossils and Fish

The museum is home to a number of impressive collections and exhibits, from fine art and astronomy to Dinosaur fossils, and a collection of local fish and bugs. Today, we’ll be looking at the current state of the Fossil collection, and a quick run through the aquarium section. Both sections as still incomplete, but have a number of nice displays worth checking out.

On the walk to the museum I pass by the town gate, with the town flag. Pretty snazzy. Next I pass by the last cherry tree remaining in the town. The entire town used to be filled with cherry trees, but with the city getting larger, more and more trees were being cut down. When more profitable fruit trees arrived, like peaches, oranges, apples, and pears, the cherry trees were almost completely eliminated to grow these other fruits. This final cherry tree was protected, and is not to be cut down ever, serving as a reminder of our town’s cherry-rich heritage. I guess it could seem kinda sad… but those new fruit trees have paid for 3 additions to my house already. You can’t argue with results.

This is the museum. It’s very close to my house.. within walking distance, actually.

We’re starting in the Dinosaur Fossil wing, and we start off with a bang. We have a completed Tyrannosaurus Rex (“Tyrant-Lizard King“) skeleton and a Triceratops (“Three-horned Face“). The skull of this Triceratops was found in “Downtown“, and I made a trip out there to collect it. These two guys are awesome.

Next we have the Stegosaurus (“Covered Lizard“) and the Parasaurolophus (“Like/Parallel Crested Lizard“). The Stego currently lacks a tail. The Parasaurolophus is noted for the large bone crest that rises above his head. This crest contained an open chamber thought to be used in vocalization, much like a trumpet or a trombone.

He we have two shots of the Iguanadon (“Iguana Tooth“). Iguanadon was one of the first dinosaurs ever discovered. My town appears to have been an Iguanadon breeding ground, as partial Iguanadon fossils are found at least 2 or 3 times a week.

Now we’ve come to the Pterasaur (“Winged Lizard“) and the Ankylosaurus (“Fused-Lizard“). The Pterasaur’s wingspan was immense, likely using air currents to glide the majority of the time, like the albatross of modern day. The Ankylosaur’s back was covered by thick oval plates, and his tail was armed with a large club.

We’ve reached the end of the dinosaur tour. We skipped over a few, like the Pachycephalosaurus (“Thick-Headed Lizard“), the Apatosaur (“Deceptive Lizard“), and the Dimetrodon (“Two Sharp Teeth“), though you may have seen them in some of the other pictures. Here we have the Mammoth, which isn’t a dinosaur at all, but it is extinct, so that’s something, I guess. But next to that we have the colossal Seismosaur (“Earth-Shaking Lizard“). This huge beast was once thought to be even larger, but even now remains one of the largest beasts to ever live.

Time is running short, so I’ll quick run through the Aquarium.

First up is the large and rare river fish: Stringfish. You’ll recall I’ve got one of these babies sitting home at my house, all set to win the Fishing tournament. They’re also tied for the most expensive fish here in town. Who are they tied with? Good question. It’s none other than the very next picture: Here we have the Coelacanth, the “fossil-fish” thought to be long extinct until someone spotted one being sold for food. These ancient fish use little feet to “walk” along the bottom of the water.

Our final two entries are the Red Snapper and the Tuna. The Red Snapper is “very tasty”. If given a choice between this, and what is in the box, choose this. And finally we have the very large Tuna, speeding along above the Coelacanth, which seems to show up very, very rarely in our ocean.

Tour over. Next time: The Fishing Tournament Shenanigans