Here is a story for you. It took place last Saturday. I was on my way over to Joel‘s place to play cards with Joel, Leslie, and Tuuk. First I swung by McDonalds to grab some food, and then proceeded down Fuller. While I’m chomping down on some fries, I get to Lake Dr… wait at the light a bit, then turn left onto Lake. That’s when the lights and flashers flicked on in my rearview, and I had to pull over. Sigh. At this point, I assume my tail light is out, as I couldn’t really think of anything I was doing wrong… unless eating fries while driving is a crime now (I was seriously considering this to be the case.). So I pull over, and wait for John Law.

John Law : License, registration, and proof of insurance.
Me : thinking: Odd that he didn’t ask if I knew why he pulled me over.
[I grab for my glove box, and find about 8 different proof of insurance forms, and hand the most recent one, along with my driver's license, to John Law... I begin searching through the rest of the insurance forms and bank envelopes for my registration... I can not find it.] [A minute passes, I am still searching.]

John Law : You keep searching for that, I’m going to head back to my car to check on this.
Me : Okay.

[I still don't quite know why I've been pulled over. I'm still banking on Tail light though. I continue to search for my registration, but soon realize that it is not here. My only thought: perhaps when I had to fill out all the information for ending my lease, and starting the purchase of my car, I needed to fax that information in, or something, and left it in my room.] The cop returns.

John Law : Alright. The reason I pulled you over is that we had you doing 45 in a 25 back there. Also, your tags on your plate have expired.
Me : [looks at him a bit quizzically] Um.. Doesn’t that usually expire on your birthday?
John Law : Yeah. It expired last month. 10-27-04 er.. 05.
Me : Hrm. No, that’d be this month.
John Law : No, They expired last month.
Me : No, That’s this month. It’s 10 now.
…
John Law : [looks confused] It’s–
Me : It’s October.. this month.
John Law : [Stares at me, rather confused.]

A very awkward minute or two passes, with him standing by my car, looking mainly at me, and occasionally at the ticket he’s already written up for me.

John Law : Okay, I screwed up. Have a good day.
Me : Alright. Thanks.
John Law : Keep it slow around here.
Me : Sure… Um, since I have you here.. Any idea if–I had to send in information for switching this from a lease to a buy recently, and I can’t find my registration.. Do you know if you have to send that in when you’re doing something like that?
John Law : Um.. yeah, I don’t know.. You can get a citation for that too.
Me : Yeah, that’s what I figured, so I wanted to ask. Can I go get a new one?
John Law : Yeah, when you renew your plate you’ll get a new one.
Me : Alright, good. Thanks.
John Law : Yeah. Watch your speed around here.

I left, and pulled up to Joel’s place. The only parking spot I saw open was where I usually parked, just behind the “No Parking” sign. I pulled up, and then thought: If that cop follows me, he’ll pull me over, and ask for my registration, then give me that stupid ticket. I’m not parking here. So I pulled out, and looked, and decided to park in the Post Office Parking Lot. I pulled in, and parked right by the “Post Office Employee parking only!” sign. Sigh.. Then I looked to my right, and there was a cop, hanging out in the parking lot. Curse you! So I’ve already parked.. what to do? I decided to pretend like I was looking for something. I popped the trunk, searched through there, then looked for my registration again [in vain]. Then another dude parked in the lot, and got out, and walked away, so I grabbed my bag, and decided to leave as well. Then the cop started to pull out, and for a second I thought he was going to say something to me, but instead, he just pulled away onto Lake.

Ron Wins!

Okay, two things that have struck my mind many, many times, and I’m just going to write them, so that next time I can say “Like I said before”.. and sometime in the future I can say “it’s like I’ve always said ['vocal harmonies are my kinda thing']“. Anyway, here they are:

Fox Baseball

Fox Baseball is awful! The announcers are wretched (As in, I need to mute the TV and listen to the radio announcers. I am not exaggerating), the stupid crazy graphics and sounds effects are distracting and not at all helpful, and then we’ve still got this damn thing to deal with:

Sigh.. It all leads me to believe this: FOX does not think Baseball is interesting. Said another way: FOX Baseball is not for baseball fans. The plan goes a little something like this: FOX buys the post-season (League Championship series and World Series, anyway. Thankfully ESPN did a few of the best of 5 series games.) So FOX has a monopoly on post-season baseball. There is no competition from other stations… if you want to watch baseball, you’re watching FOX. As a result, Fox does not have to care about people who like baseball at all. There goal is now to get people who would not ordinarily watch baseball to watch this station. How do you do that? According to FOX, you do everything you can to cover the fact that a baseball game is going on. Talk about things not at all baseball related most of the time. Fill every free second with crazy animations, graphics, sound effects, and “special features” (Special Features –> A clever way for TV stations to show really poorly done commercials while the show is still on.) While the game is actually “happening” [Defined by FOX as "only when the ball is in the air."] focus on the inconsequential, or hype something to make it “controversial”… I’ve never heard so many hindsight managers in my life. Let’s face it.. if these guys were REALLY as smart as they claim to be, they would be managing. They aren’t.. they’re just annoying.. and they just talk.. all the time…. about stupid things. So do us all a favor: Shut Up! Let the game do the talking. Tell us who is up, what they did last time they were up, and if you absolutely must, tell us the pitch count. Fox commentators.. You’ve lost your speaking privileges. I’d petition to get Bob Costas brought back to do games, but I’m pretty busy trying to get him made MLB Commissioner. I am not kidding. He’d be perfect. Oh yeah, also, having 4 people in the booth instead of 2 doesn’t make things better.. it makes them at least twice as bad… unless one of these guys is a mute axe murder.

Dear Fox:

That is all about FOX. In closing: FOX, you suck.

Jim Edmonds is not that good

Here’s the deal.. stop worshiping Jim Edmonds (I’m talking to you Gold Glove awarders and FOX commentators.) Want to know why he dives for so many balls? It’s because he’s slow. Turns out when you can’t run fast, routine fly balls become “spectacular diving catches.” Throw a Kenny Lofton out there, and he stands underneath the ball, waiting for it to come down.. but with Jim Edmonds suddenly it’s a Gold Glove quality catch… Hell, even Corey Patterson could have made it there in time to catch it with ease… he might biff it when the ball comes down, but at least he’s not diving for it. So stop pretending he’s fielding perfection in human form. He’s just a slow outfielder.

I haven’t written in a while, so here’s a few things that’ve been going on:

I listened to the unabridged Count of Monte Cristo.. and that book was fantastic. Seriously, one of the best books I’ve ever experienced… perhaps almost the best book ever.. (The best book ever –> Jurassic Park) Once I finished that, I moved on to Harry Potter 6, and completed that.. so any of you out there that want to talk about Harry Potter… um… Nerd!. But seriously, that book was good. Having finished that, I’ve now moved on to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy series. I’ve read them a number of times, and listening to them now is very, very fun. If you’ve not read them, or if I bought you the book like a year ago and you still haven’t gone past chapter 5.. [this means you, Rachel], you ought to read / listen to them. They’re wonderful. Future planned reading/listenings include: The Bourne Identity/Supremacy/Ultimatum, The Narnia Series, and The 3 Musketeers. I’m excited.

Rachel and I have been watching TV shows… We’ve more or less finished Sliders season 1 and 2. It’s just now gotten to the part where it starts to get weird, but still quite enjoyable. Sabrina Lloyd is fun in every show she does. We watched the first two seasons of News Radio, and I continue to love that show. We’re now working through Sportsnight (Sabrina Lloyd again!) and Arrested Development (The best show on TV currently). I’ve also been watching through the original Star Trek episodes when I have a chance. Entertaining, certainly. Rachel, Robb, and I watched through season 1 and the first few episodes of 2 and got all caught up on Lost, and I’ve got to say, that show is excellent. I’m excited to see where that show goes.

Two other shows I’ve been keeping up with this season: My Name is Earl and The Office. My Name is Earl stars Jason Lee (whom I like from the Kevin Smith movies, and everything else he’s been in) and the bully from Boy Meets World. It’s a funny show, and I like to laugh. The [US] Office has been getting better. It’s still got those moments where you see what part of the BBC version they’re ripping off, and you just kinda cringe, but the episodes themselves are quite funny, and I find myself laughing out loud on occasion… so that ought to count for something.

The Yankees, the Red Sox, and the Braves all lost, and are done. How awesome is that? The correct answer: very awesome. [Any snide comments asking where my teams are will be responded to by the finger.]. The 18 inning Houston game was a lot of fun to watch. I love baseball.

We’ve finally started painting Rachel’s car, and it is looking spectacular. Rachel picked out a Metallic Blue that really stands out. We painted it with a few coats of this metallic blue, then backed it with a coat of silver (while exposing the grill, to make that plain silver). Then unmasked the wheel covers and trim and added a coat of black. It really looks sharp, as she did quite a swell job of masking all those sections. All that is left is the coat of white for the top, and that car is ready for stickers. I finally got around to adding the stickers and additional pieces to my Lamborghini as well. Now the rear bumper with exhaust is attached, and the headlight pieces are put in place, and stickers added there. Once some actual lights are set in there, and the post holes are lengthened a bit to get it fitting right, that car is gonna look quite slick. While I haven’t done it yet, I’m sure by the time you bother to read this, I’ll have added some pictures of both the Mini and the Lamborghini. It’d be nice to drive them a bit before it starts snowing.

My birthday is coming up.. and it is my golden birthday, so feel free to email me, asking what I’d like as a gift. You’d best specify if your planning on the cheaper ($50-$100) gift, or the “we will continue to be friends afterwards ($100-$1,000) gift.

Mandace is back! Huzzah!