I’ve had enough.

Dear Chicago Cubs:

I care about you.. I really do.. that’s why I have to say this. (again…). LaTroy Hawkins is not, I repeat not a closer. Stop treating him like he is. Here’s the situation: Your starter took you into the 9th, and we’re winning. Yes, it’s a save opportunity, and yes, your starter might be slowing down…but if you want to win, then you’re going to have to follow these simple rules:

  1. Do not put in LaTroy Hawkins. He’s a setup man, not a closer. You proved that last year. This year, you’re just being cruel to him, and to us. You have to admit you have a problem.
  2. You didn’t bother to get a closer during the off season, but we’ll let that slide. You must have though Borowski would be the man. But you’re going to have to try harder now. If there’s someone available, you should give that man money and make him wear your uniform. Talk to Detroit, I think they have 8 or 9 closers at this point.
  3. Let your pitchers pitch the whole thing. If they say they’ve had enough, let them sit. But if they’re sitting around the 105 mark, and have 1 inning left to finish it off, just let them. Then, if they lose, at least they lost it themselves, and not because some other guy can’t get three outs without giving up 3 runs.
  4. Make sure Lee gets as many at-bats as possible. He’s on fire. Putting him 6th is idiotic. Put him #3. That way, when you get to the 9th inning, you’ve got more runs. More runs means a better chance of winning. That’s Baseball 101 right there.
  5. Stop losing games that you’ve already won. If you’re up 5 runs in the 1st inning, you should not lose. If you’re up 2 in the 9th, that should be a win. You’re killing me.. you’re honestly making me die on the inside.

Anyway, I hope that helps. Hugs and kisses.


3 thoughts on “I’ve had enough.

  1. Dear Rog:

    Thank you for your inquiry into our team. The manager has been informed of your devotion to the team, and has decided to send you a large, foam “#1” finger with the cubs logo on it.

    Keep on buyin’!

    Kindest Regards,
    The Cubs’ merchandise and sales team

  2. Well, I think they may have listened to you. Derrek Lee batted 3rd yesterday, and Chad Fox went in in the 9th instead of Latroy (though I don’t trust Chad Fox as a closer in the slightest). And we won the game, thanks to Burnitz (never thought I’d say that).

    In regards to our bullpen, man, I just don’t know. I wish we had someone that emerged as a closer, but I just don’t see it happening. It’s going to be hard enough to have anyone emerge as “good” let alone as a “good closer.”

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