The Fist and the Finger

So… How’s it going? Yeah? Awesome! That’s good to hear. Well, it was good talking to you. You take care now.

So yeah… in the last couple of days, some stuff has happened.. some of it good, and some of it bad… As a result, there a number of people and organizations out there that I’d either like to give the finger, or have punch my fist. So here’s a list:

  • Health Insurance: So, dealing with health insurance in a complete pain in the ass. So the deal is, you need to make sure everything you do is with people and places in the approved list, or they sell you into slavery, apparently. So when the doctor says “You’ll need to go see this guy, he’ll fix you” you need to say “Is that person on my list? If not, I need to stay broken”… or something like that, apparently. Nevermind the fact that at this point you’re probably not in tip-top mental shape and all. It’s just a huge hassle to find out if you’re allowed to get fixed or not. Health Insurance: You get the finger.
  • Dr. Henne: This is the specialist I met with on Tuesday. I was referred to him by my ER physician. He was a very kewl guy, very friendly, and had a lot of good information for me, showing me just how screwed up my knee was by comparing the movement of the two. Turns out, yeah, it’s pretty messed up. Dr. Henne: Punch my fist. Oh, but he’s not covered by my insurance.. once again: Insurance: You get the finger.
  • ACL: For giving up on the entire team, and letting the body down completely, and requiring surgery, and sucking so completely and totally, you get the finger. [For those of you that are a bit slow, read: Torn ACL and torn MCL. “teh suck”]
  • Friends and Family: On my birthday, and afterwords, my friends and family have been really, really kewl. It meant a lot that a ton of guys from the Softball team came to the hospital to see me after the game. Like I said, they’re a great group. A big thanks toJplant and Mark, who stayed with me the entire time, and helped keep me entertained/positive while we waited, and while the doctor messed with my knee and created the sort of pain I thought only possible when bringing a new life into the world. Punch my fist, guys. Thanks also to Tuuk and Rachel, for hanging out with me, then getting yelled at and kicked out by that schizo nurse dude. Also, Brian Melles for taking care of pretty much everything for me when I went in, and keeping me company as I got wheeled around… and for answering my bajillion insurance questions, cause I don’t know what I’m doing. Thanks to my Dad, my brother [w/ Steven], and sisters who have all come to visit.. both for my birthday and cause I screwed my body up. And thanks to all my friends who have called, or come over to visit. It’s very much appreciated. And of course my roommates, who have been going out of their way to make sure I’m completely taken care of, and don’t do anything stupid. All of you: Punch my fist!
  • Spectrum Health: Okay, so I was given a prescription for a new knee brace. Good, because the current one ain’t so great. I was excited… so I was all set to get one, and the lady was there to hook me up… and then I asked her if her place accepted my insurance.. and of course they did not.. so I told her that I’d have to go somewhere else. So I got the prescription, and started working on finding a place that I could go that would accept my insurance, and would have the thing I needed. This proved to be very difficult. After much web searching, and many, many phone calls, I finally had my place: Spectrum Health Home Equipment. I gave them a call, and Shaquille O’Neal answered. So I asked him if they took my insurance. “yup”. Excellent. Okay, then I told him what was written on my prescription, and he said “Um.. yeah. I’ve never heard of that before… hold on.” I waited, and listened to some pretty awful on hold music. He came back, and said “Yeah, we got that.” Excellent. So I made sure all I had to do was show up, and show my prescription and my insurance, and I’d be all set, and he once again said “yup”. Good deal. I waited a little bit, and Swac came home, and we headed off to Spectrum… We walked in, and I showed the lady working there, and she said “Yeah, no, we don’t have those. We don’t have anything like that.” WTF? Needless to say, I was not pleased. I explained the part where I called, and was told they had it… She seemed unimpressed. So the other girl there gave me directions and a phone number for another place… Way the hell across town… Spectrum Health Home Equipment: You get the finger… and I can hold this note all night.
  • Alias: To everyone involved in creating this little piece of wonderful, you’ve got a fist to punch as well. I am burning through episodes 4 at a time. Every episode ends with “if you don’t watch the next episode instantly, you will most likely explode”. Quality.
  • Creative Orthotics: Remember that other place I was sent to by Spectrum? It’s this place: Creative Orthotics. Remember? Way, way across town. So I called them to make sure they took my insurance.. they did. Huzzah! So I asked if they had what I needed. They Did! Huzzah! I was getting less angry.. having gotten rather angry after the “We have it/Just Kidding” Spectrum event. So we drove… and got stuck in rush hour traffic.. and drove, and drove, and finally made it to this new place. We found the place, headed on up…. and it appeared to be closed.. But wait, that couldn’t possibly be: They were open until 5pm, and it was almost 4:45.. and I had just #$()*$ called them indicating that I was coming. Where the — *sigh*. He was not there… and I was pissed. Swac left an entertaining message on their answering machine, indicating our displeasure with their closing early. Creative Orthotics: You get the finger. If you give me my brace tomorrow, I might take it back.. but if you don’t, I’m torching your building. And Insurance… I’m warning you. Do not piss me off on this one.
  • Vanilla Coke: To the creator and producers of Vanilla Coke: Punch my fist. Also, I think I love you.

2 thoughts on “The Fist and the Finger

  1. Sorry to hear about the knee :( You can take some small comfort in the fact that as of now there are at least 3 people using your RSS feed.

    I may be headed to GR for a weekend sometime in the next month. If so I’ll give you some warning and we can meet up when I’m in town.

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