I got a chance to see Guster play again a few days ago, this time at Calvin. They were excellent, as they were the other two times I saw them. The only major difference I noticed between those shows and this one was that they didn’t swear quite as much… Not that they’re particularly vulgar or anything, but I get the impression they were trying to be on their best behavior for this show. Anyway, They opened the show with What You Wish For, which you might recall is one of my all-time favorite songs… so I was quite pleased. It was soon followed by Careful, one of my favorite tracks off of Keep It Together. There was one song I hadn’t heard before (The one we were asked to clap through the entire song for, in case you were there), but it was quite good, and I’m hoping to see it on their next album, or the live album that’s coming out soon. They ended the night with an excellent acoustic/unplugged version of Jesus on the Radio which was, well… the perfect way to end the show.

All of this to say, if you ever get a chance to see these guys play, you really should go.. if for no other reason than to watch in awe as the drummer goes completely nuts for a few hours.

I was checking what time the Guster concert was today at Calvin when I decided to check out the webcam, just to see what all was happening back there. The first image I saw was this:

Um… Wha? Can someone at Calvin please tell me what this was all about. I continued to watch.. and these people eventually disappeared of screen, then returned, and seemed to all pretend like they were dead… then eventually they got back up, grabbed their stuff, and left. It was all very odd, and pretty funny… I just didn’t expect to see a giant “OH SHIT” sign pop up on my screen.

So seriously, anyone at Calvin (perhaps someone from the art or drama dept.?), can you please let me know what this was all about? Thank you.

April 24, 2004. “This will be a day long remembered.” For on this date, the valiant freedom fighters Lando Calrissian (Me, piloting the Millennium Falcon) and Wedge Antilles (Sven, piloting the X-wing) managed to not only enter into the Empire’s second (“armed and fully operational”) Death Star, but blow up the power generator (“Now lock onto the strongest power source. It should be the power generator.”), and fly out the winding and narrow passage ways (“You could run of room real fast”) at breakneck speeds in order to beat the chasing flames of the explosion.

Now, I’ve talked about this game a bit, and I’ve mentioned that the one player game was very hard, and the multi-player version was even more difficult… but I can’t even begin to describe how impossible we thought this level was. First off, I must give much props to Sven, who picked up this game very quickly. The first day we played it, he was a little shaky, but then started getting the hang of it, and we managed to make it through about 3 or 4 levels before coming up against a fairly difficult level (Prisoners of the Maw) and calling it a day. The next time over, we took that level down, then after some difficulty with our first Star Destroyer encounter, we went on a tear, wiping out levels on the first try (Our efforts on the Imperial Heist level were particularly note worthy, suffering few losses on but our 3rd try on a level that was one of great frustration for me when playing through the one player game. This particular level requires that you fly in low, and avoid a number of radar towers so as not to be detected… until you steal a Imperial Tie Fighter, and use that to gain access to an Imperial Shuttle which you then use to fly away.) Anyway, we continued to progress nicely, then decided to head back to old levels to acquire a number of technology upgrades (there is one tech upgrade hidden on each level, and many of them are very, very important [stronger lasers, stronger shields, advanced homing missiles, etc.]) We managed to acquire these in no time, and then fought the epic battle of Endor (That big ole’ space battle at the end of Return of the Jedi) We zipped through that level without much problem, taking out two Star Destroyers in the process. We had but one mission left: Fly into the Death Star, destroy it, and fly out before the flames destroyed our ship. No problem.

We played that level for quite some time. Quite some time. The problems (and they were quite.. well.. frustrating) were:

1. If either one of us crashed, we both had to start over from the very entrance of the Death Star
2. If you touch or bump anything in those narrow passageways, (littered with pipes, bars, and other obstructions, along with frequent tight turns and inclines/declines) you either instantly blew up, or were knocked so violently off course that there was no hope for salvaging the run.
3. We were being chased by very annoying TIE Fighters that you has to first allow to pass you (i.e. fly from side to side in the hopes that they’d fly by), then shoot down. If they didn’t pass you, they’d destroy you. (Again, much props to Sven for taking care of these guys.)
4. The Millennium Falcon is shaped like a giant pot pie, and handles like a comatose Manatee (“It just so happens you live in the ocean cause you ain’t got no job!”)

So there were some strikes against us. The first day we reached the level (the same day we had cleared a number of levels in a row, and were feeling quite good about ourselves) we were quickly put in our place. After repeated (read “Hours”) failures, we managed to make it all the way into the core (by holding on to the brake the entire way into the core.) We then blew up the power generator. Amazing! We rule. We then began our exit. We began our return, and crashed instantly… and again… and again. So, slow and steady, just as we had on the way in, we worked our way out…. and were instantly overtaken by the explosion… and game over. Yup, that’s right.. You get hit by that fire, and you start over from the beginning of the level. The game got the finger, and we called it a day. A number of weeks later, Sven was again free, and we set aside Saturday morning to teach the Empire a lesson it would not forget. We started out confident.. and after an hour or so, we got pretty good at making it into the core and destroying the power generator. We sucked royally at getting out though. We’d try to hall ass so as to avoid the flames, and succeed in ramming our ships into just about every inch of the first few sections of the escape route. More problematic was the fact that we kept running into each other.. neither one of us wanting to get caught by the flames chasing after us… An entire morning spent, and we had nothing to show for it. We ended our day dejected, and fearing that the Empire may have become too powerful….

April 24, 2004. With a new burst of optimism, we took to our ships, and again proved ourselves quite adept and piloting into the core.. now with a bit more speed and gusto (leading to the inevitable cockiness, and repeated explosions). Plans and strategies were constructed for our exit, and we noted some progress. Nevertheless, hours past, and frustration set in. After a number of hours, and repeated declarations that “This was it! This time we’re going to succeed!” the impossible happened… Sven saw the bright and shining glow of stars at the end of a long passageway. As he approached, I sped along after him, and was knocked violently off course by what I maintain was an invisible force sent by a being of pure evil… My poor ship went careening into the mesh of pipes along the wall, and burst into flames. A part of me died at that moment… the part that foolishly believed that good things did indeed still happen in this world… Sven masked his contempt for me quite well, and we pretended to take encouragement from this experience, certain that such a close call could only mean that victory was inevitable…. Some time later, we again found ourselves nearing the exit. Flames were beginning to appear on my screen, and I sped up to avoid them…causing what I can only imagine was some sort of freak electrical malfunction within the Falcon, causing it to burst into flames…. (There are some that might believe it was caused by me smashing into a red pipe on the left side of the tunnel, but quite frankly, I’m skeptical). As I exploded, the flames overtook my ship, and we were kindly greeted with a “Game Over” screen. The TV got the finger.

So twice now we had come very, very close, and twice, I had screwed it up. I was not going to let this happen again. We made it back to the core, and began working our way out…. and then it happened. Sven and I were right next to each other, his X-Wing slightly ahead of me as we twisted and turned through the now (far too) familiar Death Star passageways. As we approached the final passageway, flames began to surround my screen. “We’ve got to speed up”, I anxiously urged, as I hammered on the accelerator, bumping into the back of the X-wing. Sven took off in his craft, moving ahead cautiously, while weaving through the last of the tangled passages and into the opening that lead to space, and victory… All that was left was me… the flames right behind me, and the freedom of the entire Galaxy in front of me. As I made it through the last passageway I reached the place where I had twice before failed so miserably… With no time to slow down, I pushed ahead… Suddenly I was rocked again by that unseen force, sending me plummeting to the bottom of the passage. Bouncing violently off the ground, I was left with no shields, hurtling towards certain death. I slammed on the brakes, and turned sharply, screaming things at the TV that no amount of flowers and candy will ever make up for. Aiming towards the opening, with flames surrounding me, I slammed on the accelerator… and the screen went blank.

A pause

A whir from the Gamecube…

We were then greeted with a beautiful clip from the movie, as an X-Wing and the Millennium Falcon fly out of the second Death Star just as it explodes out in a fantastic flurry of light. The Empire has been defeated, and peace can once again return to the Galaxy.

To call this victory satisfying would be so pitiful an understatement that I dare not even try to think of what to call it. After we had celebrated, we decided to head back to some old levels with some new ships we acquired (including the very slick Jedi Starfighter and Slave I) Both of these vehicles sported those snazzy seismic charges that Jango Fett used in Episode 2. Turns out those things completely rule, and Sven and I used them to destroy the Star Destroyer in Razor Rendezvous, completing the mission in 22 seconds. It was freaking awesome.

If you happen to be hanging out with me in public sometime soon, and you notice passers-by stopping and looking over, perhaps pointing… maybe even asking for my autograph, don’t be too surprised. You see, I’ve finally hit the big time… I found a bug in PHP5. Yes, that’s right. Local boy becomes huge star… Never mind the fact that I spelled the word “included” as “encluded”, or “likely” as “likley”, or that I formatted the XML in the post so poorly that you couldn’t tell what at all I was talking about.. Nevermind all that… Things are really going to start happening for me now. Look out ladies, the CDATA King has arrived..

So if you see people stopping and staring… pointing and whispering as you and I walk down the street don’t be surprised. You now know why.. Or maybe it’s because I’m not wearing any pants.

Let’s start with this advertisement, which I saw some time ago on MLB.com:

Pay special note to the lines on the bottom there: Any Name Any Number Any Team

Sounds pretty good, doesn’t it? Maybe you could get a Ryne Sandberg with #23 on a modern Cubs’ jersey or something. That’d be sweet. Well… take a closer look. When you go to actually purchase this jersey, you are presented with a link to the complete customization rules. They read as follows:

Guidelines for Customization

• League player names must match current team rosters and the team for which they currently play
• Retired player names cannot be printed on the team’s jersey from which they retired
• Both adult and youth jerseys hold up to 12 characters
• Characters accepted: capital A-Z (name field only); 0-9 (number field only); spaces
• Each space counts as one (1) character
• Language deemed inappropriate, derogatory, or profane will not be accepted
• If your selection does not meet all of the above criteria you will be prompted to start over

Let’s think about this for a few seconds… There were two pretty important things being said concerning this product. The first thing was from the ad saying you could get a jersey with “Any Name, Any Number, and Any Team”. The second thing is in this list of Customization rules, that says you can have a jersey made so long as it’s NOT a retired player (so not any name, I guess), a current player on a different team (so not any team then, either), over 12 characters (sorry, Arnold, looks like no Schwarzenegger jersey for you… once again not any name), or deemed profane (Mr. Asswipe, you’ll be getting no jersey, either. Anyone with a foreign character (I’m talking about you, Björk, you’re SOL too…

I know there’s a word for things like this… Hrm.. Maybe Dictionary.com can help us out a bit here:

lie (lI) noun :

1. A false statement deliberately presented as being true; a falsehood.
2. Something meant to deceive or give a wrong impression.

Well, that seems to fit pretty well.

So I have a few suggestions to MLB.com on how they could improve their advertisement, and make it a bit more clear to others, like me, who might have misunderstood the current ad:

That is all…

The Pickwick crew doubted, but it has been done. The 2004 Chicago Cubs are now playing on my snazzy version of RBI baseball for Ninendo. I am most pleased.

So yeah.. I had a good time with some rubbing alcohol, some scrubbing brushes, and a fair amount of pain. Woo for me.

So I haven’t written in a little bit, but I did add a number of little baseball dealies to the site. It was mostly for me, so I could quickly check a whole bunch of stuff, etc… and I kinda kept going with it for a while. Anyway, hurray for baseball! I’ve very much enjoyed listening to/watching games thus far.. How I’ve missed the zany ramblings of Ron Santo. So Go Cubs!

Speaking of baseball, we were at Strikers the other day (We == Sven, Tim, Mindy, Julie, Trisha, Rachel, and me) and they’ve got mini-golf and batting cages, etc.. So we did enjoy a fairly involved round of mini-golf (where I managed to prove my vindictive nature on a few occasions, and even had a shot named after me: a “Ron Two” (Ron Two –> A mini-golf shot where your first hit somehow manages to return all the way to the starting position (and possibly farther in the wrong direction) and your second hit (from what ought to be the “tee-off” position) is a hole in one, thus resulting in a score of 2.) Good stuff. So afterwards, we did the batting cages.. and today, I was sore. That’s kinda sad. I think I was way too tense doing the fast pitch… but in my defense, at one point the thing shot two balls at me at the same time.. and that ain’t right.

Lent is over… Guess I get to start worrying about girls again. Sweet. I am kinda impressed with how well I did with the “not worrying” for lent… though those close to me know that I did fail on a number of occasions. Once again, in my defense, my life is rarely normal, and my situations with the ladies… well, they’re just plain messed up. Stupid girls.

And props to dvcentury.com for sucking [I purchased RAM from them]. It’s been 2 weeks, and still no word, despite a number of emails sent. Looks like I’ll be needing to call them again. I will not be polite.

Julia Stiles has a boyfriend Sigh.

The Swan is evil. Pure evil

and for those of you that are confused:

Clean, thin, and gets along well with women != gay

Sexual attraction to the same gender == gay.

I’m glad we cleared that up. That is all.