9. Weezer – Weezer (The Blue Album)

Weezer! I like Weezer. Glad I got out of the way early. Okay, my first taste of Weezer was prolly the same as most people… it was that Happy Days video for Buddy Holly. I remember thinking “what the hell? Is Fonzie dancing like one of those crazy Russians? Whatver…” The song was catchy, though. It (and Undone [The Sweater Song], and Say It Ain’t So) got a fair amount of radio play in that short period of time we listened to a non-country radio station at the Greenhouse. Yeah.. check this one. It used to be that at the Greenhouse we’d listen to B-93 (Country) in the morning, then KLQ or GRD (Alterna-rock) in the afternoon, or visa-versa (with the occasional LAV for classic rock). Well, one day, our boss (I won’t say much about him, except that I didn’t believe him to be a born leader… and his last name was the same as the name of the Greenhouses….) decided that we couldn’t listen to the Alterna-rock stations anymore, because he heard a reference to drug use in one of the songs. From that point on, we were a “country only” workplace. Consequently, I know a lot of country (“Come on, Patty, Get it together”).

Okay, so I know Weezer’s radio hits, and think they’re pretty nifty, but nothing out of the ordinary…. I don’t own any of their albums, but I borrow the blue album, and put it on tape (on the back side of my John Lennon’s Shaved Fish album.).. I proceed to never listen to it. Years roll by.

Summer after my Sophomore year of College. Job market = ‘teh suck’ (Teh suck –> “Suck” in noun form. See also “Carrot top“) So after my brother, Jefe’s marriage, I move out to Indiana with Sven to work at the mobile home park. While there, I meet “The Illiana Guys“: including Mike, Jeff, Keith, Paul, and Josh. This group (sans Josh, plus Sven) was the group ‘o guys I went to Florida with during Christmas ’99/New Years 2000. This group (w/ Josh, and Sven) were a ton of fun to hang out with… they taught me how to drink.. they made me learn to like beer, they peed on our sofa (we got rid of that sofa… or it’s still at 711… heh.. it’s prolly still at 711), and I got to be in a band with Mike and Jeff (with plenty of background vocals by the rest of the group.) Anyway, the group, and I recall Jeff especially, really liked Weezer. So I got a chance to listen to them again.. and behold, they were very good. I had never heard Pinkerton before, and some of the songs (especially Butterfly) just blew me away. I was taken with how great the lyrics were. At first glance they seemed simplistic… but the more I listened, the more complex, and clever/deep/good/etc they seemed. When returned home I acquired both albums.

Flash forward [that show ruled!]. It’s Senior year, and I’m working in Holland at Everything/Blockstackers. It’s about a 40 minute drive, if traffic is okay, and I don’t get stuck behind a parked train across 8th street in downtown Holland because Holland is frickin retarded and trains just up and park across the whole frickin street and people get stuck waiting for 20 frickin minutes when all they want to do is go home and go to sleep. Um.. as I was saying, it’s about a 40 minute drive usually, and I had one tape that I listened to. On one side was Weezer’s Blue album, and the other, Pinkerton. I listened to that tape every single trip to and fro, save for one week, when I listened to “Starship Titanic” by Douglas Adams on Audio book. Anyway, that’s a lot of listening, and I absolutely loved it, never tiring of it… It possessed “singability“, which is a requirement for being a good “in the car” album. It was more or less in my zone, which, quite frankly, is limited, unless I’ve been drinking, or have had such a bad/good day that I don’t care. In all fairness, this slot really ought to be both the Blue Album and Pinkerton, but since I felt guilty enough including double discs, I didn’t want to rock the boat any more with including two albums in one slot. Of the two, I prefer this one slightly more.. mainly because it contains the song “The World Has Turned and Left Me Here“, which is by far my favorite Weezer song ever. It also has “Only in Dreams“, which I occasionally believe to be the work of pure genius, and other times believe to simply be a gift given by some benevolent diety… perhaps it is both. This was also the album that introduced me to Weezer, and it gets extra points for that. The thing that hit me about Weezer that I really liked is that they made it sound so easy… like “hey.. I could do that.. just write lyrics about what’s going on.. and what you’re thinking, and put some catchy riffs behind it… piece of cake… then you try it, and found out how hard it really is. It’s not some elaborate production.. It sounds like a bunch of guys you could’ve been friends with in college.. and then bam!, they’re playing songs, and they don’t suck.

10. Ashby Furlough – Through the Westgate

I’m guessing you can probably plop this album under the file “the best music you’ve never heard.” I’ve talked about Ashby Furlough a few times before, but for those of you that don’t remember, here’s a recap: Swac brought me an album back from Wisconsin from some local band from up there that he thought I’d like, because they sang a song with the chorus “My girlfriend has a boyfriend”. [For those of you that are unaware, my friends enjoy exposing and highlighting the things in my life I find the most frustrating for comedic affect... and their idea of a joke is an incisive observation humorously phrased and delivered with impeccable timing ] Anyway, I listened to the album, and really liked it… and then listened to it a lot. The band is fronted by Jon Troast, who went to Calvin, and many people seem to remember him (as did I, once I saw his picture). He’s quite a nice guy, and helped me get a hold of his solo cd, which is also pretty good. Anyway, that’s Ashby Furlough, formerly “The Rubberband”.

Now about the album. It’s got a very pleasant folksy/bluegrass feel to it, but not at all “yokely”. (Yokely –> The state of being a yokel, or yokel-like. See also: Bumpkin.). A few things I (re)noticed about this album while listening to it driving to/from my carpool place recently: First, the songs are all very singable. They’re in the range where they’re not so high that in order to sing along you have to contort your face so violently that the girl in the lane alongside you looks over, gets a slightly horrified look on her face (until she realizes you are singing, and not just in terrible pain), then begins laughing so violently that she almost runs into a construction barrel by the shoulder near the 28th street exit on 131… just as a hypothetical. [Stupid Veruca Salt...]. They’re also not so screamy that you can’t sing along without just feeling like an idiot, and sounding horrible [e.g. Drowning Pool - Bodies]. Singability goes far in my book, as a good chunk of my listening happens when I’m alone in my car, or alone in my room. The second thing I (re)noticed was just how accessible the lyrics were. Accessible in that they are easy to understand, and associate with.. not in the “I can find them easily” way, cause I can’t find them anywhere (thus my desire to just write them all out here, so the Internet can once again feel “complete” to me.) Thirdly, the songs sound relatively playable, without being so pathetically easy that I’d lose interest in playing a song halfway through it.

Now on to the songs: [Note: I'm relatively sure the song titles are correct, but I don't have the album case available to me at the moment.. so I'm basing it all on the Cd-Text, which ought to be reliable, I'd think]

Miss the Boat: [lyrics] – A snazzy celebration song about liking a girl, then getting shot down, then hooking up with someone better, then finding out that now the first girl wants you, and you couldn’t care less. This song reminds me of a similar experience I had a while back (only take out the part about actually hooking up with the “someone better” and erase the whole “couldn’t care less”).

Happy Day: [lyrics] – A cheery ditty about finding the joy in the little things in life. “Sometimes life can get you down with all the pain it brings. Take a minute, look around at all the little things.”

Umland: [lyrics] – Along the same lines as Happy Day, I think. When the stresses of life start to drive you insane, just take a step back and go to your “happy place”… a pleasant little place where the daily grind and taxing responsibilities no longer matter, and you can just enjoy the good things life has to offer.

Oops: [lyrics] – So this is the song that introduced me to the album. “My girlfriend has a boyfriend“. “I wouldn’t ever kiss her, cause if somehow her mister found out he would want to kill me.“

Purple Ear: [lyrics] – I’m still not so sure why the song is called Purple Ear, (assuming that’s the right title [Update: it's actually "Purple Car"]), but I really like the chorus:

And I know that time keeps passing by
This is one more thing I never want to end
And if it seems like I never say that I love you.
You know that’s what I’m thinking
Every time I see you, my friend

Everybody’s Friend: [lyrics] – And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

That Girl’s Greek: [lyrics] – First of all, I love this song. Second, this song drove me INSANE in Europe. I didn’t know many of the words, but I remembered the phrase “I’ve been to France before, I’ve seen the Eiffel Tower, but I can’t speak a word of French to you.“. That line was on an endless loop in my head for 3 straight days and there was no way to get rid of it. I thought it was kinda cute the 1st day, as we were hanging out by the Eiffel Tower… but then we left.. and it didn’t go away. And it was back the next day… and the next. It was eventually knocked out by “Luca“, thankfully… but when I got home, I made sure to learn the words to the whole thing. I’m also no stranger to the nodding when you have no clue what the other person is talking about.

See You: [lyrics] – A love song. I still have no clue what the 3rd thing is that he wants to hear, though. I do like the line “I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine”

All of You: [lyrics] – Here’s a song about his love for music, but even more about his appreciation for all those people that helped him/supported him from the beginning.

One and a Million: [lyrics] – Another favorite on the album.. all the lyrics to this one are great, I think… especially this verse:

If I never saw your face again
Though I never want that to happen
If it did, I live with no regret
Cause everything to this point has been worth it.

Now I should go to bed, because it’s 5 a.m. I’ve been doing a lot of daydreaming.

Tuuk, Adam, Joel, JHo,Jplant, Swac, and I went fake rock climbing last night. Look at the fun pictures! I thought it was hella fun, and my arms really hurt when I was done. I was pleased that I wasn’t too sore today, though. Hopes are high for a return visit.

11. Veruca Salt – Eight Arms to Hold You

I first saw Veruca Salt in 1997. I went to a BUSH concert with Sarah, and her older brother, Ben, and one of her friends, and her Dad. The opening band was Veruca Salt. I had heard of them before. (i.e. I knew they sang a song called Seether, and I had no idea what it meant, nor if I had ever really heard it.) Anyway, Veruca Salt gets up there.. two chicks with guitars… and I can think of no less cliche way of saying it: “they completely rock”. From the first song, they convinced me that they weren’t some fake pop chick band pretending to play metal.. They were the real deal. But within their driving guitar riffs and piercing vocals, there was a really beautiful harmony and weaving of two strong, but undeniably lovely female voices. To say I was hooked from the first song would be an understatement. That show blew me away. Louise Post also completely slammed back a 40 in the space of about 3 songs, and I was impressed. Soon after I went out and got American Thighs and 8 Arms to Hold You. Both albums were excellent, with the latter sounding a bit more polished, and the girls sounded a bit more sure of themselves (both in their singing and in their writing). Since that time, Veruca Salt split up.. Nina Gordon went on to a solo career (She’s the “Tonight, and the Rest of My Life” girl. That album is certainly a different feel than Veruca Salt, but I like it all the same.). Louis Post fired the band, and started up a new Veruca Salt, and released Resolver, which I absolutely love. It’s only downfall is that it lacks the wonderful harmony and “completeness” that they had when Nina Gordon was still there. But what it lacks there, it makes up for with Louis being hella pissed off at the people that she felt betrayed her. (“I used to know her, now she just doesn’t matter.“). All that being said, I consider Veruca Salt to be the best “Chicks that rock” I’ve ever heard (and I’ve already mentioned how I like chicks that rock.), and I consider 8 Arms.. to be their best work. In the back of my mind, I hope for the day they get back together, and blow their earlier stuff away, but that may be another dream in a tall pile that goes unfulfilled.

Now on to the album itself:

Straight: [Pleading to boyfriend]:”Stop doing drugs, it’s ruining your life, and our relationship. I’ll do anything to make you quit.” For a while I thought it might be about a bi-sexual.. but reading the lyrics made me doubt that highly. Oh yeah, in case you’re wondering, this song rocks.

Volcano Girls: You’ve prolly heard this one. It got a decent amount of radio play (though none of the other songs did, which makes no sense to me at all.) Anyway, here’s a little something for you: When I don’t know what a song is about, I assume it’s about sex. So I assumed this song was about how they’re “really good”… I don’t really know. You read the lyrics and tell me what you think. Oh yeah, and in case you’re wondering, this song rocks.

So… it’s about 2:45. I can’t sleep. at all. I’ve been trying for a while now.. No luck. Sleeplessness is, of course, not completely unknown to me. At this point, the fact that I attempted to fall asleep before 2 might surprise some. But the fact remains, I am very tired, and I can not sleep. This is the part that hasn’t happened in a while. Ordinarily I simply refuse to go to sleep… I may be in bed at midnight… but something always manages to get my attention, and then hold it for the next one to four hours, leaving me quite tired the next morning…vowing to get a lot more sleep the next evening, when the cycle continues on again ad infinitum. But for the last long while, certainly since Europe at the very least, when I decided it was time to sleep, that was it.. I fell asleep. Not so, today.

I was going to just write a normal blog entry… Maybe finally stick #11 up on the list (It’s currently about half-way done.).. or tell you how I went and saw “Of Mice and Men” performed at Devos Hall this evening with Robb, Swac, and Mandace. I was going to make some remark about how it was the first time all 3 of us roommates were dressed up at the same time since we moved in together:

I was going to do all that.. but quite frankly, I can’t even think that straight, and thinking about anything except the fact that I’m not sleeping is proving kinda hard.

So yes… I can not sleep. Part of it has to do with the fact that once again I am thinking too much about things I can not control. I do that from time to time, though I had very much hoped I had grown out of it. I spent much of High School doing that.. and got very little sleep because of it. The more I think about it, the more I believe it was about 30 seconds after I started liking girls way back when in Cleveland that the whole thing started. It’s amazing I got any sleep at all back then. If I had known then what I know now, I doubt I’d have even bothered having a bed…. Hrm.. that’s sad for two reasons.

So this is one of those blogs that I’ll likely reread in a day or two, and wonder what the hell I was talking about, and why I thought it was a good idea to write down what I was thinking at 3 in the morning. It certainly doesn’t answer any of the questions spinning in my brain. Well, hell, since I’m writing, I may as well go all the way.. You want a window into my head? Here’s a situation for you. I’m trying to sleep, and nothing’s happening.. so I start to think “What can I think about that won’t make me think too much, and won’t make me angry or upset, or sad, or lonely, or anything negative. Sex and girls are right out, because no matter how pleasant the “day”dream starts out, it always eventually reaches the point where I either realizes it’s not real or my fictional self reaches the point of no return, and inevitably tells the fictional girl that “I’m waiting for marriage”. So there’s a question for you: Should I feel proud of my subconscious for sticking true to my moral code? Or should I kick his ass for denying me what may well be the only real pleasure this world is going to offer me. In case you’re wondering, I don’t recall waking up proud ever…

Anyway, so I can’t think about girls, which is a shame, cause that seems to be one of the few things I’m good at. I don’t want to think about work, because, quite frankly, if I’m going to think about work, I want to be getting paid for it. I’d expect that if I was up for 3 hours this evening thinking about work, then next week, I could take a nice nap from 8 am – 11 am. I’m fairly certain I’m not supposed to do that. (certainly not anymore, anyway…)

So works out. Let’s see… what else is there? Thinking about video games makes me feel like a dork. Ditto for TV and movies. If I’m going to think about them, I may as well just watch them.. and I don’t fall asleep when the TV is on. I could think about the past, I guess… But that inevitably makes me sad. Sad, or embarrassed/regretful. I have this uncanny ability to remember events that in one way or another remind me of a personal failure or bad mistake that I’ve made. The memory itself needn’t be bad.. often times it’s pleasant.. but it’s as though my brain is not satisfied until it finds something that it can really grind on. Pleasant memories need not be grinded on.. they’re taken at face value.. I certainly wouldn’t want to change the way those things happened if I had it to do all over again. It’s the mistakes, though.. those are the things I’d do differently.. so what better to let my brain grind on then 1.) What major mistake did I make in relation to memory X? 2.) What would I do differently if I were suddenly transported back to memory X? 3.) Brain replays memory X, substituting the decided course of action for the original… events play out just as before, only worse, one way or another… or events play out just as they had originally, with me unable to alter the events/my actions for one reason or another. Yeah.. my head is a scary place to be late at night.

So what’s got me spinning this evening then? The usual things, I guess.. Different names, but the same ideas.. I got an email from my old girlfriend, Julie… I described it to some as being like this: Imagine you’re at some ritzy dinner party for someone you hate. You’re forced to make conversation with them (not even forced really.. more like you make it a point to be “forced” to make conversation with them), and everything you say sounds very polite and seemingly pleasant…. but both you and the other person know that every word is an attack, and every sentence is chosen to make the other feel like an insignificant ass, while making you look like “the better person”, who has risen above the pettiness of the other. I shouldn’t let it bother me, but it does.. just like everything else. It’s be another thing if I had torn Julie a new asshole on this site or something.. but the truth is I’ve [purposefully] rarely mentioned her, and never really in the context of being negative about her, but about someone else.. usually me. I think perhaps some of my pop culture references were lost on her, as well.. But such is life. I’ve given my rant about taking things out of context already, but here is just another example. I think if she had read my entire site, her email to me would have been different. But nevertheless.. here I am, with an email I can either respond to or ignore…. and all I can think about saying is “you used the word ‘edifying’ incorrectly.”

I was talking to Mandace about it, and she asked me [something like]: “What would you gain by emailing her?” Essentially, what would the point be… [I don't remember the exact question.. it was a good one though] I couldn’t come up with an answer… I’d like to think that it’d make me feel better to write to her. On the one hand, I could try to be nice and friendly. Smooth out an misunderstandings that might exists, and wish her well on her upcoming wedding…. or I could go off on her, ripping each line of her email to pieces, and making it clear to her that not only did I find that email insulting and petty, but it reminded me of a great number of things I loathed about our relationship…. a relationship others begged me to end months before I did. The former seems like it’s what I ought to do, but it wouldn’t make me happier.. it’d just make me feel like a gutless flake incapable of asserting any real opinions. The latter is unnecessarily cruel, and serves no purpose except to hurt someone else that hurt me. I’ve seen enough evidence in history to know that that approach doesn’t do much good. So I’m left with two choices: I can ignore the email, and let life continue as is, or I can write her back, and say absolutely nothing of substance.

So yeah… an email from the ex… certainly that must be what’s bothering me.. only I know for a fact now that it’s not. It did for a while.. the day I got it… but by the end of the day I had already thought through the whole thing.. drank some beer, talked to some good friends, and realized I didn’t care about that much anyway. [Three cheers for me actually growing as a person in the past few years... that kinda thing would have devastated me back in the day.] Granted, I didn’t realize until I wrote all this out that it no longer bothered me.. but it doesn’t. Hence my tendency to start writing when I’m bothered by something…So if that’s not it… then what? What other things are going on? There’s Church… sigh. I’ve already decided not to write that much about what’s going on at Church right now.. Not because I didn’t find previous discussions helpful (i did indeed, and many thanks to all of you that talked to me about it), but because things are a bit more personal and private now than they were before. Part of it is that now that I’m in council, and privy to more “inside information” I’m not sure what things are public knowledge, and what things aren’t. I’m not too worried that people from my church are checking my site (42% are still too enamored with the lightbulb and horseless carriage to know about computers), but still, it’d be poor judgment on my part to air things in a public forum that ought not to be discussed. The other part is that it’s past the stage where me just up and saying where I’m at and where the church is at will do anything productive (besides give random passers-by a status check on my church and me). It’s really to the point where I need to just talk, one on one, with people I trust, and who know the situation I’m in. Suffice it to say that things are getting more complicated rather than less, but the things I need to do as a result seem clearer… Clearer, but certainly not easier. Anyway, that’s church.. and that’s always in the back of my mind.. but I don’t think that’s what’s bothering me… Mainly because I know what it is I have to do next.. and until I do that, nothing else will change. With the course of action clear, there ought to be nothing for my brain to churn on (besides possible reactions/consequences of said action, I guess) But that’s not what I’m thinking about.

Something has been on my mind for the last few days though: I was recently asked what I was looking for in a girl. I’ve been asked that before, plenty of times… and I always had an answer.. it changed now and then.. usually as the result of bad experiences with some girl that made me alter the specs.. that kinda thing. This time it felt different when I was asked… like the question actually mattered… and I blanked. [Remind me never to run for Miss America... I'd totally bail on the question portion of the competition] Anyway, since then, I’ve been jotting things down… but it’s a hell of a lot harder than I thought… All I keep coming back to is “I want a girl who, after I meet her, I can’t possibly imagine life being complete without being with her”. I dunno.. when I first wrote that down in my notebook, I thought it was kinda nice.. Now it just feels like a cop-out. There was a time when I couldn’t possibly imagine life being complete without being with Sarah… I guess I should add that at some point the feeling should be mutual. I’ve got a decent list of things down in my notebook now.. I will not be sharing them with you.. sorry. Anyway.. It’s 4 am… and I don’t think that question is what’s bothering me either.

I’m turning 25 soon.. that bothers me.. but I’m not losing any sleep over it, I don’t think. I’m told it’ll be fine.. but I’m pretty sure I’m not going to get what I wish for.

Enya also failed to work…

I think I’ll just close my eyes, and wait until it’s time for church.

The Cubs are not going to the World Series. I read somewhere that acceptance is the first step to recovery… or dealing with grief, or something. Whatever it is, you need acceptance. So I accept the fact that the Cubs are not going to the World Series. I also accept the fact that they were 5 outs away. 5 outs. In a given season, you have to get about 4212 outs. (There are 162 games. Assume half of the games are away, and less than half of those games you are down in the 9th, and therefore don’t have to get the last 3 outs. Factor in also the number of outs you get that don’t count due to a past ball on a strikeout or something, and you end up with an average of 26 outs per game, I’ve decided. 162 x 26 = 4212.) Add to that the outs in the division series and the league championship series, and you’ve got (27 * 5) + (27 * 5) = 270. So we’re at 4482. Add to that the 22 outs we had on Tuesday night, and we’re at 4504. We got 4504 outs… and we were 5 outs away… and we didn’t get it done. We came very, very close.

Blaming that one fan is dumb. I blame giving up too many runs, and then not scoring nearly as many. That seem to hurt us more in the long run.

So there we have it. The Cubs are done for the year. And I am sad. I’m not mad, really… and my disappointment has to be understood in the context of being extremely pleased and thankful that the Cubs had such a great season. I’ve followed the Cubs a long time, and I haven’t been this excited about them since Will Clark decided to send them home back in 1989…. and I was young and naive then, thinking this kind of thing happened quite a bit. I was older, wiser, and far more cynical this time, and yet I was really into the Cubs all year. It was a hell of a season, and I guess I’d be mad at myself if I was too disappointed now that it’s done.

But I am sad my Cubs are done. I really wanted them to win, and I really believed that they would. I was excited… and I tend not to get too excited about things [anything] these days, cause … well… it just hasn’t panned out so many times now that it hurts to get excited about things. And then this week, a funny thing happened. Perspective set in. Assuming for a second that baseball teams are powered by a combination of skill, determination, and luck, and not purely by the amount of enthusiasm and allegiance that I, Ron Veenstra, show them a given game or season, I really had nothing to do with their season one way or another. Assuming also that I don’t have a horrible gambling problem, and did not bet a large portion of my savings on the Cubs going to the World Series, I lost very little by the Cubs not winning… save for some reasons to celebrate. I’ll add to that the fact that the Cubs ending their season this week wasn’t even in the top 3 of problems or situations that demand my attention or concern this week, and suddenly, life seems a bit less dreery… Cub-related life, anyway. So what does this nonsensical rambling have to do with anything? I don’t know. Part of me is embarrassed at just how sad I became Wednesday night… I’ll admit I drank quite a bit, and that may have helped amplify my feelings… But as Mark wisely explained Tuesday night at the Pick (in response to some concern over my relatively calm demeanor despite the complete collapse of a certain victory in game 6), “..the sun will continue to rise.. We’ll go in to work, and life will continue.” So I guess I just wanted to say this:

Dear Chicago Cubs,

Thank you for a terrific season. I really enjoyed watching you play. You have been, and shall forever be, my favorite team to cheer for. Good luck next year.

Oh yeah… and “Dear Florida Marlins. The next time I flick you off, it’ll be with both hands. One for ’97, and one for ’03. I hate you all.”

Dear Fox announcers: Nobody likes you. Please die.

12 Pearl Jam – Vs

Pearl Jam makes the list! I like Pearl Jam a lot… and I have, for quite some time. (even longer than some others!). I listened to this album a ton during my “angsty” youth (read: when I was a typical pissed off high school kid). This album has a number of stories attached to it, some better than others.

The first track I really knew from this album was Daughter. I was in a media class my Junior year of high school (this was well after the album came out, so I was already familiar with it, and all that) Anyway, the purpose of the assignment was to explain what the artist was saying in the song. Another group had “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine), which they wisely interpreted as “the end of the world is coming, but he’s okay with it”. Bravo, you are a complete idiot. Our group had John Doe #24… but another group had Daughter, and the teacher went into a lot of detail with that song.. and I thought that was really kewl… looking closely at the lyrics and all that. I had done some of that already, but not to the extent that we did in that class. I started getting big into that soon afterwards, which I’ve already mentioned repeatedly. Anyway, the thing I really liked about Daughter was that every time they performed it live, they’d sing something else at the ending… like Pink Floyd’s Another Brick in the Wall part 2. ["We don't need no education...], or part of W.M.A., or Rockin’ in the Free World, etc.. There are a number of songs that I heard first as endings to Daughter, then later heard on the radio, and recognized, but couldn’t tell why ["Hey hey, my my. Rock and Roll will never die. There's more to the picture than meets the eye. Hey hey, my my."]. My roommate Sophomore year of college, Josh, will recall my MP3 cd that features 64 different live performances of Daughter, each with a different song. He seemed less than pleased with my playing that cd. ["If man is 5.. and the devil is 6... then God is 7.. This monkey's gone to heaven"]. Anyway, Daughter still reminds me of the High School class. (This was the class where I gave a group report on Metallica with this girl.. We got a D, because the teacher hated both of us… and the girl I was with was excited that we passed.)

I’ve already talked about Rearview Mirror, but you should read that again… as it’s the song that stands out the most on the album for me… It’s my favorite song on the album as well. I’ll just add that this was and continues to be one of my favorite songs to play on the guitar.

Indifference was a song I really got into in college, and more recently would listen to on an endless loop while driving to and from work this past spring. There were reasons, but you don’t get to hear them. If Rearview Mirror is my favorite song on the album, this is a close second. The lyrics are just one quotable line after another:

i will light the match this mornin’, so i won’t be alone
watch as she lies silent, for soon light will be gone
i will stand arms outstretched, pretend i’m free to roam
i will make my way, through, one more day in hell…
how much difference does it make?
how much difference does it make…
i will hold the candle till it burns up my arm
i’ll keep takin’ punches until their will grows tired
i will stare the sun down until my eyes go blind
i won’t change direction, and i won’t change my mind

how much difference does it make
how much difference does it make..
how much difference…
i’ll swallow poison, until i grow immune
i will scream my lungs out till it fills this room
how much difference
how much difference
how much difference does it make
how much difference does it make…

I used to lie on the couch in my dorm sophomore year and play along to this song and Country Feedback over and over again, believing that at some point, the universe would make sense to me. When I hear that song, I see me on that couch with the lights off, eyes shut, playing that guitar.

High School.. summer… I’m working at the Greenhouse, and Tim and I are sitting my Jon Ippel (We called him “Nips”… say his name fast a few times, and you’ll see). He was a few years older than us, and just an all around kewl guy, we thought. Anyway, we were talking music, and I mentioned “That Pelican song” from Vs.. He looked oddly at me, and thought for a while, then realized what I was talking about… He said something.. and what I heard was “Those aren’t the words.. it’s “Glorified virgins of Apellica”. (Note please that that’s what I heard, not what was said. There’s a big difference.) So I went on believing the lyrics were about some virgins at a temple somewhere called Apellica. (I assumed there was some mythological story behind it.. but whatever..). Finally, I was going through the lyrics to the album, and read “Glorified version of a pellet gun”, and suddenly the song made sense to me… and I realized I was an idiot (so, it was a two-for-one kinda thing).

I’ll be straight and honest with you: I love the song Leash because it repeatedly screams the phrase “get outta my fucking face”, and sometimes I really just want to hear that phrase screamed repeatedly.

If ever your in search of 2 songs filled with pure energy, look no further than Go and Animal, the first two tracks on this album. Put plainly: They rock. Animal contains the following line, that’s repeated a number of times:

One, two, three, four, five against one
five, five, five, five against one.

Sven and I went to a Pearl Jam show in Chicago a few years ago, and it was one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to in my entire life. They played for hours, and they were just flat out perfect. Anyway, they played this song, and the entire place was pounding. Every time they got to these 2 lines, everyones hands flew into the air, and counted off with their fingers 1..2..3..4..5..5..5..5. It was just such a kewl thing to see and be a part of. I can’t hear this song without thinking about that moment.

Rats.. they don’t compare. This became a favorite because it came right after Rearview Mirror, and was easy to play.

Elderly Woman Behind the Counter in a Small Town: Hearts and thoughts they fade… Fade away.

This album on the whole is quite bleak: You’ve got Daughter, about an abused girl trying to rise above her past, a Dissident gets turned in by the woman sheltering him, Rats explains why humans are worse/more evil/dumber than..well… rats. The Elderly Woman has nothing left but old memories long gone, W.M.A. [White Male American] rants about injustice, Indifference cries of hopelessness, Glorified G talks of guns, and idiots with guns.., Blood bitches about the media and those people using their art to get rich (Ticketmaster, the rock industry that sought to turn him into the big rock star he hated and didn’t want to be, I guess. His art is his blood)… But in the bleak there are some success stories.. like Rearview Mirror, and Go. Anyway, this album just plain rocks.

It’s been a while since I prattled on about the fun and exciting moments of my life. So I’ve been jotting down things here and there, and today I decided to write a paragraph or two for each one. They aren’t in order, so don’t try to make sense of the ordering. Just sit back and enjoy the ride, and once you’re done, compliment me on how attractive I am. Thank you.

Lan Party 6

Jplant hosted a lan party this past Saturday. In attendance: Adam, Andy, Dave, JHo,Jplant, Tuuk, and myself. After some dinking with router settings and firmware, we got BDF to join us remotely from Chicago as well. It was good times. The game was Wolfenstein : Enemy Territory as before, withJplant, Dave, Bdf, and I [team "upstairs"] vs Tuuk, JHo, Adam, and Andy [team "downstairs"]. Games were quite heated, with significant “turning points” swaying the tide one way or another fairly late in the game. (Turning Points –> In life, a particular moment or event that radically alters the situation permanently. In Wolfenstein during Lan party 6, when Ron manages to get up to the machine gun by the Bank doors or BDF decides to just go off and kill everyone on his own, and singlehandedly win the match.). Anyway, it was fun. We took a break midway through to watch the Red Sox/Yankees insanity. I stuck around a little while afterwards to watch the first few innings of the Cubs game, then sped home to watch the rest of it.

Beer in the Car

I had brought a bag of pop and beer to Jplant’s place for the party, and apparently, one of the cans had escaped from the bag during transport. I found this out while I was driving home. After turning onto Plymouth, I heard a thud, then what sounded like the At-At laser fire in the Empire Strikes Back (Nerd!)… the car then began to stink quite strongly of beer. At first, I thought something bad had happened to my car, as the smell had a slight oil/air conditioner fluid/other car liquid with pungent oder smell to it.. but soon I knew it had to have been beer. I reached behind my seat to try to find the culprit, and found a small pool growing on the floor in front of my back seat. I was not pleased. My thought process at this point was something like this:

Hrm.. What can I do? I can’t put the beer in a cup holder, cause then it looks like I’m drinking it, and that’s no good. I can’t throw it out the window, because that’s littering, and that can really needs to get recycled. Plus, if I throw it out, some kin might find it, drank what ever is left of it, and turn to a life of crime and lawlessness, and it would all by my fault… But I can’t just leave it there, cause it id probably spilling more and more while I’m sitting here thinking…. Heh.. my car reeks of beer.. this is all kinda funny.

Finally, I decided to set the can upright on the floor by the backseat, and leave it be til I got back to my home. I also drove completely paranoid, certain that every cop I passed (I believe I passed about a thousand police cars from Jeff’s place to mine.) could smell not only the beer, but my fear, and would certainly pull me over, smell the beer, not believe my pathetic story, beat the hell out of me, take me to jail, and then just execute me. Thankfully, I managed to avoid John Law this time, and I made it home just fine, and brought the beer (and the floor mat, that seemed to have taken the brunt of the attack) inside, and the entire ordeal was over.

Joe at Max and Ermas

Apparently Joe, the server at Max and Ermas, was not just talk when he mentioned that he’d be looking around the staff at the fine restaurant seeing if there was “somebody for me” there. Initial inquiries by him have been met with not entirely negative responses. I’m told that Gwen and Mandace have also been going to bat for me, with Gwen apparently making some headway quite quickly. I currently remain politely optimistic but detached, realizing that my own efforts have bred very few successes, and what I truly desire rarely comes to fruition. Bottom line, when girls are involved, I seem to manage to screw it up somehow, so perhaps it’d be better if someone else just did all the work, and told me when to show up with a ring and a tux. I’m assuming plenty of people are still looking for a green card, right? If I am to be granted 3 wishes at some point in my lifetime, I’d very much like to use the first one right now.

Last Softball Game

Last Wednesday was the final game of the season for my co-ed softball team. The season went well, and I had a ton of fun playing. Our final game was by far or best game of the season: No errors, we scored in almost every inning, and won 12 – 1. I also managed not to bleed during the game, which was certainly an exception, rather than the rule. Anyway, another season in the books. I had a great time… but there’s a part of me that realizes the season being done is a good thing… Almost every week I’d manage to acquire a new injury (one of the negative side affects of being kinda quick is that you assume you can do just about everything… Turns out I can’t.. but I can really screw up my body while trying.). So let’s see.. I think I mentioned (re)pulling my hamstring the first practice of the season (trying to catch a high pop fly in left field while starting in right field (no one else was in the outfield at that point)). That nagging injury was with me for at least a month, but thankfully went away. (I credit frequent biking) I screwed up my elbow pretty good sliding into third. Then I messed up my knee stretching for 2nd, and it still hurts (I’ll be walking along fine, then all of a sudden, it’ll decide it no longer wants to support my weight, and then I curse.) Thankfully, I scraped it up soon afterwards. My wrist got all screwed up somehow, and then a bad hop smashed up my finger pretty good. And finally, after the last game I tweaked my back… Also, all of the bones in my body turned liquid, and my body burst into flames. So taking it easy for a little while and letting my body recover might be a good thing. (Jonathan, just for you, I took my shirt off for every one of those pictures.)

Deedre and Ed

A few Thursdays ago I was surprised and delighted to have Deedre come by the house. “Surprised” included my room and house being a complete and utter mess (once again almost undying diligence falls pathetically short when it actually mattered). Attempts to quick tidy up were thwarted. Anyway, she came over to join me in watching the season premier of Ed. She arrived while I was off bringing Robb to pick up his car.. and Swac called while I was driving back, wondering where I was. I found this slightly odd, as when questioned he had no reason for calling.. just “missed me, and wanted to know where I was.” The sad part was I believed him, and it that all made sense to me that he would call for that kind of reason.. I made it home, met up with Deedre, and things became much clearer. Swac is my hero.

The return of Ed was cause for much rejoicing. Upon Deedre’s suggestion, we watched the season finale of last season, and I was quite pleased that the episode was even better than I had remembered (I had recalled it being good, but fairly predictable… I had forgotten it was also very funny, and included clips of some of my favorite episodes… I’m not one who loves clips shows by any stretch, but sometimes, I think they are really good. The occasional Friends clip show is quite good, I think, as it runs through a number of episodes in rapid succession that I can then recall and appreciate apart from the show. Conversely, a Saved by the Bell clip show annoys me, because it reminds me that I’ve seen all of those shows, and I apportioned far too much of my childhood to watching that show… So what’s the difference between wasting time in my youth and wasting time in my young adulthood? Shut up.) So anyway, we watched the Season finale, and then the Season premier. The new episode was good, though certainly not the best episode ever. The present company certain made it among the most enjoyable viewings though. Hopes are high that it becomes a trend.

Cubs Game Friday

I had a bunch of people over A few Fridays ago to watch the Cubs vs. the Braves, including my cousin Tim, who drove up from Ann Arbor. It was good stuff (especially since the Cubs won). Saturday, Tim and I played some RBI Baseball and Techmo Bowl for the old NES, and it was hella fun. Then the Cubs lost, which was sad. Anyway, playing Nintendo got me thinking that I ought to give Adventure Island another whirl.

Deacons Meeting

So 2 weeks ago Monday was my first Deacons meeting. (well the first one I made it to, anyway.) I also had to help count offerings, so I had to be there at 6. So… wake up at 6, go to work, leave work, go straight to Zeeland… once the meeting was done (9:30ish) i had to drive to Grand Rapids as I had left my cell phone and keys at work, and Joel had grabbed them for me.. I finally made it home past 10, and was completely exhausted. Apparently I have 3 years of this to look forward to. No sir, I didn’t like it.

colors of the trees

The trees are all colorful. If i had pictures I’d show you. Anyway, enjoy them (the trees, not the nonexistent pictures), cause they’re lovely.

Can’t open my trunk

The trunk to my car is stuck shut, and I can’t get it open. The door ajar light is stuck on, as the trunk is unlatched, but it won’t @$)(#Q open. The pull releases for the back seats are also hidden in the trunk, so I can’t even get in there. I’m not pleased.

13. Nine Inch Nails – The Downward Spiral

There’s quite a bit I could, and intend to say about this album, but i think I’ll save most of it for later. I really like this album… there are times when it would be in my top 5 or top 3. That wasn’t always the case. I first got into Nine Inch Nails back in High School. My friend Kenton had an album, and I heard one song from it, and thought it was kinda good. He let me borrow it, and I made a tape of it, and would listen to it occasionally. Eventually I went out and bought the Head Like a Hole single (it was the only album I could find), and then I found Broken in my basement (it was my brother, Jeff’s, but he wasn’t going to be needing it anymore, I decided). So I had 2 NIN albums, and 1 tape, and that was that. I listened to them occasionally, but not a ton. (We’re talking sophomore year of high school here.) My friend, Chris, had gotten The Downward Spiral… and I had heard Closer on the radio a number of times, and since I was a high school aged boy, I thought Closer was “rad”. So I borrowed The Downward Spiral, made a tape with Closer and Hurt on it, and gave it back. That was that. Time passes, I get dumped, and I go full tilt into “I hate my life and I want to die” mode, and get big time into music (I’ve told this tale a number of times already, so this should all be old news). I begin buying cds for all these tapes I’ve made over the years, and I go out and get The Downward Spiral. I bring it home, and since by now I love my other Nine Inch Nails albums, I figure this one will be even better. I already like Closer and Hurt, after all. So I toss it in, and listen through it… and it scared the hell out of me. It starts out fine and all, but as the album goes on, he starts to sound really freaky, and just sort of weird, like he’s going insane or something, and I remember just feeling creepy. So after listening through it once, It went in the shelf, and stayed there for a while.

Senior year of high school starts up, and in time I start to feel better about life, the universe, and everything [read: I began dating again]… then the saga of “Sarah” began. So about once every 2 to 3 months, I’d get pretty pissed off and depressed, and turn back to my “angry and pissed off” music. That means a healthy dose of Nine Inch Nails. The Downward Spiral got some play, but not nearly as much as others, because it just seemed too mad, and not enough sad for my tastes. The Sarah thing plays out for about 3 years, and I maintain a pretty regular routine of “happy music” then “sad music” taking turns in shifts, but The Downward Spiral continues to be a “oh yeah.. that had Hurt on it” kind of album for me. (At that point, I had kinda distanced myself from Closer, as it seemed to be a song that jackass “dudes” would tout as a celebration of their jackassy ways, and that pissed me off, cause jackasses are jackasses, and tend to ruin everything and everyone they come in contact with.)

I become good friends with Molly, whom I’ve mentioned before, and we started emailing quite a bit, and we’d go through song lyrics to try to figure out what the singer was trying to say (yeah.. When Molly suggested doing that I was instantly smitten, as I hadn’t met another person, let alone a good looking girl, who was into doing something like that). So in a search for good songs to look into, I turned to Nine Inch Nails. After giving Molly a Pearl Jam tape (after she game me the Pink Floyd tape), I suggested Nine Inch Nails. She gave them a listen, and made some comments about The Downward Spirals somewhat “frightening” nature, and I agreed. At that point it had been a fairly long time since I had listened to that album…and then the Fragile came out (we’re talking late ’99, I think), and I loved it (as I’ve already mentioned, so The Downward Spiral went back on the shelf.

Okay, so more time passes, and I’m Gospelcom. I needed music, and Nine Inch Nails was towards the top of the list. So I put all the albums I had on my machine, and put it on random…. and I was amazed at how many really good songs I didn’t recognize… and after a while, I decided to listen through each album in order, and The Downward Spiral just hit me as being really, really good, especially the music. And so it began.. I listened to it a ton, starting learning the words, starting digging into the lyrics, and thinking about what all was being said… and I grew to like the album more and more each time I heard it. A while later Andy introduced me to a number of remixes of songs, and some of them (e.g. Eraser [denial, realization]) were so amazingly good I could play them on repeat for an hour and not get sick of them.

Looking back on it now, I know I wasn’t really ready for an album like this when I was in high school. The themes are “adult” to say the least, and take it purely on the surface would leave you thinking things that I don’t think are so good. It’d be like watching “All in the Family” and thinking the writers were all advocating bigotry and racism. It also took a radical change of view on my part. Somewhere along the way, I learned that other people can be wrong, no matter how rich, famous, or eloquent they are. I also realized that someone can speak the truth, and come to the wrong conclusion. That’s why I can listen to something like Live’s Mental Jewelry and still really like it, even if I really disagree with a lot of what he’s saying. I dunno.. I can see some people not being so kewl with that, and that’s fine for them, but I like the idea of being able to take something that’s presented to me, and make my own conclusions. This album has challenged me as much as any almost any other I’ve ever heard, and I think I’m a better person because of it. Looking at the album now, I have to say that the sounds this album created are hard to top… The last 3.5 minutes of Closer, the last 45 seconds of I Do Not Want This, the last minute of Eraser, the last 2 minutes of The Becoming… I could go on through the entire album… I know Andy and I have commented on probably all of them and said something that includes the phrase “sounds so incredibly cool”. And the remixes of these songs (On Further Down the Spiral take these songs and build on them.. Eraser [denial; realization] may well be the kewlest thing I’ve ever heard in my life. Imagine playing a massive first-person shooter [lan parties 1, 3, and 4] or Metroid Prime with this song cranked in the background… it’s pure bliss.

I intend to go through all the tracks on the album a little later on, so for now, I’ll just add some quotes I’ve collected.:

• ‘If I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place.’ – I Do Not Want This
• ‘All of my fears came true.’ – Piggy
• ‘I am the hate you try to hide, and I control you.’ – Mr. Self Destruct
• ‘You don’t know just how I feel.’ – I Do Not Want This
• ‘I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that’s real’ – Hurt
• ‘I now know the depths I reach are limitless.’ – Reptile
• ‘I wanna do something that matters.’ – I Do Not Want This
• ‘It won’t give up, it wants me dead goddamn this noise inside my head.’ – The Becoming
• ‘Kill me’ – Eraser
• ‘Nothing can stop me now, cause I don’t care anymore.’ – Piggy
• ‘The me that you know used to have feelings, but the blood has stopped pumping and he’s left to decay.’ – The Becoming
• ‘You didn’t hurt me, nothing can hurt me.’ – Ruiner
• ‘Nothing’s turning out the way I planned.’ – Piggy
• ‘You know how this world can beat you down.’ – I Do Not Want This
• ‘I am the voice inside your head, and I control you.’ – Mr. Self Destruct

14. Smashing Pumpkins – Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness

I know some people don’t care for Billy Corgan, and others would argue that Siamese Dream [a modern masterpiece] would be a more worthy choice, but I went with another double-disc opus Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness. I got this album a while after it came out (I was a fan of the Bullet with Butterfly Wings video, but it was Zero that made me head out and buy the album.). As was my style at the time, I found the tracks I liked, and listened to only them (Tonight, Tonight, Zero, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, and 1979… for those of you playing at home, Yes, those are the first 4 singles/videos that were released…I stilled listened to the radio/watched MTV back then.) Anyway, then I started hearing Thirty-Three on the radio, and thought it was alright, and figured I ought to listen to that one too.. but now it was getting harder to remember what songs were on what disc in what order… The tracks are set up like this:

Dawn to Dusk (Disc 1)

1. Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness
2. Tonight, Tonight
3. Jellybelly
4. Zero
5. Here Is No Why
6. Bullet With Butterfly Wings
7. To Forgive
8. Fuck You (An Ode To No One)
9. Love
10. Cupid De Locke
11. Galapogos
12. Muzzle
13. Porcelina Of The Vast Oceans
14. Take Me Down

Twilight to Starlight (Disc 2)


15. Where Boys Fear to Tread
16. Bodies
17. Thirty-Three
18. In the Arms of Sleep
19. 1979
20. Tales of a Scorched Earth
21. Thru the Eyes of Ruby
22. Stumbleine
23. X.Y.U.
24. We Only Come Out at Night
25. Beautiful
26. Lily (My One and Only)
27. By Starlight
28. Farewell and Goodnight

So as you can see, on the first disc, I’m going from 2 to 4 to 6, and on the other disc, it was 3 and 5… but I got sick of skipping, so soon tracks 3 and 5 on Disc 1 were getting played, and they were pretty good. (I really started to like Jellybelly.), and then I started just listening to the whole thing, and (re)discovered Bodies, which is by far my favorite song on the album now. At the time, I just thought the entire album was very eclectic, with a number of songs I enjoyed, and a number that I didn’t even recall hearing before, even when I listened through 2 or 3 times in one sitting. (Homework, high school webpage construction, and IRCing) Then I lost the album (i.e. a high school friend borrowed it, then denied having borrowed it, and never gave it back), and that was the end of that.

I got the album again sometime in college, but really didn’t listen to it much. Part of the reason was that most/all the songs are tuned a half step down, so if I wanted to try to play some of the songs, I’d have to retune my guitar, which was a bit of a pain back then. (I had a pretty crappy computer program that was supposed to help me tune, but it took a good 20 minutes to get the mic working each time.. so quick playing a few songs rarely worked… so I stuck to standard tuning). So I didn’t listen to it much until I got to Gospelcom, and was sticking all the cds I had onto my USB hard drive. I ripped this album, and gave it a listened, and was just blown away with almost every song on the album. There’s such a mix of pounding rock riffs, gentle folk, electronica, and light piano instrumentals.. it keeps each song distinct, and interesting. I guess if you’re going to do 28 songs, you really can’t make them all the same (which is why Green Day doesn’t do double discs, I guess) [10 points for alliteration!]. I read somewhere that described this album as Roger Waters meets Kurt Cobain.. and there are parts of that I like (A remarkable synthesis of pleasant instrumentals, melodic folkish melodies and pounding angst-ridden grunge songs blended together into one fairly cohesive message (“Life is pretty empty, but love makes it worthwhile… only love tends to completely dick you over a lot of the time”.. That’s the message I get out of it anyway.) So I started listening to this album a ton, and took the lyrics booklet dealie along on my trip to Austin to visit Serita, and I read through the lyrics on the plane ride (when I wasn’t busy passing out or praying for death). It was on the plane ride that I noticed Beautiful, which is now my second favorite song on the album. It matched how i was/had been/continued to be feeling quite well, I thought. It’s the kind of song I wish I had written, or envisioned myself writing if I didn’t ssuck so bad at writing songs/poetry.:

beautiful, you’re beautiful, as beautiful as the sun
wonderful, you’re wonderful, as wonderful as they come
and i can’t help but feel attached
to the feelings i can’t even match
with my face pressed up to the glass, wanting you

I guess it should be noted that this song is followed by Lily (My One and Only), which I find at times funny, and at times just kinda sad (in that “yeah.. that’s kinda me, isn’t it?” sort of way):

Lily, my one and only
I can hardly wait till I see her
Silly, I know I’m silly
Cause I’m hanging in this tree
In the hopes that she will catch a glimpse of me
And thru her window shade
I watch her shadow move
I wonder if she………?
Lily, my one and only
Love is in my heart and in your eyes
Will she or won’t she want him
No one knows for sure
But an officer is knocking at my door
And thru her window shade
I watch her shadow move
I wonder if she could only see me?
And when I’m with her I feel fine
If I could kiss her I wouldn’t mind the time it took to find
My lily, my one and only
I can hardly wait till I see her
Oh lily, I know you love me
Cause as they’re draggin me away
I swear I saw her raise her hand and wave (goodbye)

I’ve got some quotes again, but I’d recommend just reading through the whole album from front cover to the end some time, as the songs go together quite well, and some of the songs are pretty incredible.

• ‘Love is suicide’ – Bodies
• ‘I fear that I am ordinary, just like everyone. – Muzzle
• ‘Believe in me as I believed in you.’ – Tonight, Tonight
• ‘Don’t forget to call, whenever. I’ll be here just waiting for you’ – Beautiful
• ‘I’m in love with my sadness.’ – Zero
• ‘The impossible is possible tonight. ‘ – Tonight, Tonight
• ‘I feel the same, I feel nothing.’ – To Forgive
• ‘My life has been extraordinary: blessed and cursed and won.’ – Muzzle
• ‘The more you change the less you feel’ – Tonight, Tonight
• ‘Beautiful, you’re beautiful, as beautiful as the sky. Wonderful, you’re wonderful, to know that you’re just like I.’ – Beautiful
• ‘I never let on that I was on a sinking ship.’ – Zero
• ‘Holding back the fool again. Holding back the fool pretends. I forget to forget nothing is important.’ – To Forgive
• ‘And I’m sure that you know me well, as I’m sure that you don’t. But you just can’t tell who you’ll love and who you won’t.’ – Beautiful
• ‘Believe in the resolute urgency of now.’ – Tonight, Tonight
• ‘Love solves everything.’ – Love