COPS in Zeeland!

I arrived at the softball field early (6:30) for our 7:10 game. I planned on just watching the 6:00 game until a few people from my team showed up to warm up. When I arrived, I noticed an ambulance, and a police truck with lights flashing parked on the walkway from the parking lot to the diamond. “This is odd” I thought. As I got my stuff, I watched small groups of people standing near the ambulance, and tried to get a feel for what had happened. I assumed it was something like a fast line drive hit back at the pitcher, the pitcher couldn’t get out of the way, and got injured. Right when I arrived, I feared someone had died, because people looked really distraught, but soon there were people kinda laughing and joking. I grabbed my bat, my cleats, and my glove, and started walking towards the field, and by the whole scene. Just as I did, a man holding a bandage to his head emerged from behind the ambulance, and walked towards another group of people. The conversation that I overheard went something like this:

Bloody Mess: I don’t know why you did that!
Other dude: I’m sorry you think it was intentional, but it was an accident.
Bloody Mess: Just tell me why you did it!
Other dude: I didn’t! You leaned into me.

I was intrigued. I’m in Zeeland, it’s a small town. I knew I’d find out what had happened, so I wasn’t in a rush to start bothering strangers or medics about it, so I continued past them all. I stretched out for a while, and noticed that the field looked untouched… If they had played at all, the game hadn’t lasted long. The umpires for our game were sitting on the bench, so I walked over to them, and asked them what happened. It went something like this:

Apparently Bloody Mess was late for the game (and at this point, he wasn’t a bloody mess, quite obviously). His brother was pissed at him (most likely for being late). As they were practicing swinging out by the dugout (during the top of the 1st) the brother said something like “I’m going to knock you flat on your [back|ass]”.

Now is where the story breaks up a bit, depending on who’s point of view/side you take.

Bloody Mess/Original story view

After saying this, the brother swings away, and nails him in the face. Bloody mess hits the ground, out cold, and bleeding all over the place. One of the girls from the team screams “Jesus Christ, you knocked him out!”. Umpires look over in time to see Bloody Mess out cold on the ground, call the game, and the cops. Bloody Mess comes to about 7 minutes later, and says “I can’t believe what my own brother would do to me!”

Alternate view #1/Assumed Brother’s story

After saying this, the brother fakes a swing at him, only Bloody Mess purposefully lunges forward, resulting in an accidental, but powerful knock in the face. Brother is sorry it happened, but refuses to be held responsible for his brother’s stupidity. Story continues as above.

Alternate view #2/Detective Umpire view

After saying this, the brother fakes a swing, only Bloody Mess tries to block with his own bat, the resulting impact sends his own bat back into his face, knocking him out.

Ah… Zeeland… Coming soon: COPS! in Zeeland. Anyway, i think the 3rd story seems the most likely, though from the conversations I overheard, #2 is a pretty good bet as well. I don’t think anyone buys #1, save for Bloody Mess… but what does he know, he just got blasted in the face.

We played our game.. and we totally sucked, and lost. It was unfortunate. Afterwards I went over to Cory’s and talked about Church and Deacon stuff for a long while over some beer… then headed on home, watched Futurama and DS9, and went to sleep.

3 thoughts on “COPS in Zeeland!

  1. Yes.. That was a rip from Friday… what a grand movie to quote, too. Also, the fact that on Monday we played a game (Soul Calibur 2) for hours where big mean dudes (and hella hot chicks) beat the living crap out of each other with large (usually sharp) bat like objects was not lost on me either. Turns out, it’s more entertaining on a video game…

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