Seriously… how stupid are you, Verizon?

As noted before, my phone was having issues.. So I called up Verizon, and told them my problem. The guy asked if I was currently using my cell phone to call him, and I said yes. He asked if I had another line available to me. I was home, so I gave him my home phone number. He said he’d call me right back. I hung up… 2 hours later I decided to just call in using my home phone. I got a new guy, and he walked me through a number of things, none of which worked, until he finally said “I have no idea what’s wrong…”. So he wrote up a “problem ticket” that goes to the tech guys, who were supposed to be able to fix the problem. He said it usually takes between 24 and 48 hours to fix, and I’d know it was fixed when I started getting phone calls again (duh), but if it didn’t work within 48 hours I should call in, or go to the local Verizon store, and get it fixed that way.

I ended up turning my phone off when I was over at my sister, Kristin‘s place last night. (We [Kris, Mindy, an me] ate some lasagna that Kris cooked up, then watched Donnie Darko. Grand!) When the movie was done, I turned the phone back on to see if I had gotten any voice mail messages, and Kristin tried calling me, and it worked. Excellent! It was fixed. I had Dave call me this morning to make sure it was still good, and it worked no problem.

I got a call about 5 minutes ago:

Verizon guy: “Hello, is this Mr. Vestring?”
Me: “Ron Veenstra?”
Verizon guy: “Oh.. right. I’m sorry. Um… I have this report here.. Let me see.

[begins mumbling incoherently, with occasional words showing up indicating he’s reading the “problem ticket” or whatever.]

Verizon guy: “So, apparently there’s a known issue with the LG 150 [my phone], so I’ve indicating on your account that you can bring in the phone and get a replacement of equal or lesser value. If you’d like a more expensive phone, you’ll be credited for the value of your current phone.”
Me: “Yeah… Um.. The issue with my phone was that I couldn’t receive calls, but now I can. So why do I have to take my phone in?”
Verizon guy: “You can receive calls now?”
Me: “You just called me on my phone.”
Verizon guy: “Oh… right. Um.. They. um.. They must have.. They didn’t write anything. Um. They don’t tell me anything here. So… If your phone works, then, you don’t need a replacement. But I’ll add a note to your account, and if you can’t get calls sometime in a reasonable amount of time… if your phone doesn’t receive calls again, within a reasonable amount of time.. like a month, you can bring it in and get a replacement. How does that sound?”
Me: “That sounds fine.”
Verizon guy: “Okay, well, I’ll add that. And sorry about the inconvenience, you are a valued…”

[goes into the pre-scripted “You’re special” Verizon speech I’ve now heard 3 times in 2 days.]

My favorite part was the long stunned pause after I said “You called me on my phone”. I could almost hear the gears grinding in his head.

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