ISAG

It’s 1:15. After a total of zero days, my “go to sleep on time and get a full 8 hours or so” plan has died a most painful death. A quick round-up of current and recent past events:

Tuesday

Worked from home, met up with Tim for lunch, as is the tradition on Tuesdays now. It’s funny. Tim and I have been quite good friends since 8th grade, when we started working together at Walters Gardens. Those 5 years at the greenhouse, we hung out quite a bit (i.e. pretty much every hour while we were there.) and talked about pretty much everything. It’s just been fun this past month or so to get back into that routine of seeing him frequently, and getting to have those kinds of conversations again, rather than the typical “what have you been up to the last 6 months since I saw you last?” that we were kinda stuck with much of college. Even when we worked together at Everything we didn’t get to spend that much time talking.. we were too busy working [amid the shouts and cries of Diablo 2 coming from the rooms nearby]. Anyway, we have lunch on Tuesdays, and we’re back to our High school conversations: “What the hell is wrong with women!?” and the logical offshoot -> “How can we get with women?”

Tuesday is golf league. I suck at golf recently. (I’m kidding, I’m kidding. I’ve pretty much always sucked at golf). So I decided that I’d try hard this time, and try to do well. So the first hole I was all set to get a 5. Not great, but it’s a par 4, and I almost always shoot a 7 or so, because it takes a few hits to get into the groove and I suck at golf. [< - hereafter shortened to "ISAG"]. Well I'm on the green with a short putt for 5, and I completely miss it, as the greens we really slow (they were a bit wet) and since they were quite fast last week (when it was dry) it caught me offguard... plus ISAG. So that's a 6. Not horrible.. it's not the usual 7, so there was some improvement... but I should have had a 5, which would have been nice. So I'm not pleased.

Hole 2, a short par 3. It’s just the tee box, a lake, and then a short fairway to the green. I usually use my 7 wood, which used to be my magic club (magic club –> The one club that could be used for almost any situation, from long fairway 2nd or 3rd shots, to difficult lies in the rough, to short shots to the green. If I had only one club (besides the putter) to golf with, this would be the club. See: 7 Wood.) On this hole, the 7 wood usually puts me a few feet past the green, or far off to the right, in the trees. You see, whenever I try to take a little off the swing, I hit it wrong,a nd it shoots out sideways either into the lake, or into the trees. When I swing away, it clears the green. I opt to just swing away most of the time. Today, since I was “trying hard”, I decided to use my 9 iron. After all, from about 120 out, that’s the correct club to use. So I line up, and swing away. I watch a giant clump of dirt chase after my ball, and catch up to it as they both splash into the water about 20 feet in front of me. Golf gets the finger. I must have swung low and gotten underneath it, or perhaps ISAG. I put a new ball down, grab the 7 Wood, and put it 5 feet past the green. “So much for trying something new,” I said. I finish with a 6.

Third Hole is another par 4, straight and clear. My drive heads straight left and finds the smallest tree to park under. When I approach I’m pleased to see it leaked through, and I have a decent enough lie to get a shot off. This shot heads straight for the center of the fairway, before veering violently left,and finding the largest tree to park under. After some searching, I find it sitting near the trunk, and have to drop. I end up with a 6. (Well on my way to a 54. Not good, but I’ve done worse.. much worse.)

Hole 4. Another short par 3. I’ve parred this hole a few times, but I usually end up in the sand on the left side of the green after my drive and end up with a 4. I’d like to get a 4. My first hit clears the sad, and is on the left side, with the bunker between me and the pin. My short chip goes long, and I’m on the other side of the green… then it just rolls right off. Another chip and I’m on the green, and I two putt for a 5. I’m thankful it’s not a 6.

5th Hole. I f’ing hate this hole. the first 100 yards are lined on both sides with thick trees. My drive ends up clearing the trees on the left, and I’m on the next fairway over. I proceed to shank the next 3 wood shot (shank you very much), and then squib the next 2 iron shots needed to get back onto the right fairway (there’s a line of trees around the green as well, and so you have to get back on the fairway if you want to make it to the green.). I continue to chip short, then 2 putt for a 8. I’m falling apart at this point, and am trying to remember why I golf at all.

Hole Six. This hole gets the finger. There’s a long lake on the left side. I hit to the left. I’m boned. My drive hits the toe, and I bounce and skip into a nearby ditch, that just happens to be filled with water this week. Damnit. I drop.. Hitting 3, I launch a nice iron shot that seems to be fading a bit left… still fading… still f—, I see it bounce up once, then disappear. Lakes get the finger. I was aiming pretty far right, but it sliced a bit, and ISAG. I drop by the lake, on the path it bounced in. Hitting 5, I set up a nice 7 iron shot. It flies gracefully forward… for about 20 feet, then sinks with a disheartening “Sploosh!”. I grab my golf bag, turn to the guy I was partnering against, and say “Well, I’m done.” I began walking to the next hole, where I knew there was a pop machine.

Pop Machine. I had change all set, cause I knew I was going to want something to drink. I tossed in 4 quarters and 3 dimes, and pressed the Lemonade button, and got nothing… I look at the screen, and it said I needed $1.25, and so far I had put in 75 cents. I punched the pop machine… then I punched it again… Dejected, I found a dollar bill, and bought my lemonade for $1.75. Pop machine gets the finger.

My next drive went under a small pine tree. I dropped, and ended up with a 7. The next hole I had a gorgeous drive, then the second hit was the perfect distance, only it faded left, right into the sand. My blast out shot with the wedge blasted it… about 100 yards past into the other fairway. The return chip cleared the green, and then I shipped and two putted. Fuck golf. The final hole I ended with an 8, and I had to drop once more because of a tree. I just laughed, and left before they could tell me how awful my score was. (don’t figure it out and post it as a comment, cause then I’d have to beat your ugly face in.)

Pickwick at night was a lot of fun. A small group, with just Joel, Adam, Alan, and myself most of the time. The topics of the day included: The appropriate political system that ought to be created as part of the rebuilding of Iraq, possible and preferable actions the United States could take concerning the current Liberia situation, and which type of wines to serve that would best compliment a lightly lemon-marinated sailfish…. or it might have just been a lot of dick jokes and us ranting about how certain people and companies completely suck ass. Oh yeah, and I’m a knuckle-dragging cretin for not changing my own oil.

Wednesday

Wednesday was work at work day. It was fine, and once again I got a ton accomplished. This week has been great for getting things accomplished. Problem being that every 1 thing I get finished introduces 2 more things I’ll have to do. How will I catch up? Simple. Work faster! The math has to be in my favor. I got my new earphones (that’s where I was driving [well, to UPS] in the rain), and they rule (although my ears still feel like they’re being violated… I think I just need to get used to them.

While at work, Stacey showed up, and she and I had worked together on a number of things last summer (Bible Gateway related), and had sat right next to each other in a 3 person cube for much of the summer as well. Her quote when I walked toward her: “Oh, Ron. I completely forgot about you!” Joel and Jay began to laugh, and were still laughing as I made some comment about killing myself, and dragged myself back to my cube. This is the kind of impression I make on the ladies, you see…

After work, Joel came over, and he and I, and Mandace and Swac headed out to Max and Ermas for dinner. It was good stuff. As we were leaving, a bus load of cute girls (we’re talking at least 15-20 girls) showed up. Sigh. Also, our hostess, Caitlin, asked if we’d ever been there before, or if there was any special occasion. I was not impressed. Oh, and if you’re ever planting apple trees, just plant them in straight, parallel rows. It’s a lot easier that way. Splurge and buy 10 more seeds you cheap bastard.

We headed back and watched Punch Drunk Love, which I had bought last week. That movie is great.

Thursday

Today was Thursday. I worked from home, then Swac and I biked Kent trail for a while, which was hella fun. We also charted out a mile around Ramblewood, so when I finally get the urge to run, I know where to run now. We’ll see if that ever happens (“All signs point to no”). After than, Swac, Mandace, and I met up with Sven and Julie at this new Chicago Style Pizza place across the street from Max and Ermas. The pizza was excellent, and our waitress was pretty cute, and friendly So I left my phone number on the receipt for her. I’m assuming she won’t call, but if it at least flattered her a little, then I feel good about it. Plus there’s the hope that if little by little I become capable of going out of my comfort zone a little bit to try to attract a girls attention, then perhaps at some point I’ll catch the right girls eye, and she won’t just disappear on me for no reason. After pizza, we went to Meijer, and I spent over a hundred dollars on supplies, and lots of unnecessary items. The next few weeks ought to be interesting.

I spent a lot of time today learning the first part of the final November Rain solo. It’s pretty hard, but it no longer seems impossible. I just have to work a lot at it, and eventually, I’ll get a pretty close version of it that I can rattle off without having to play at half speed. My hats off to Slash for being really, really good.

It’s now 2:45. I’m an idiot. Before I end, many thanks to those who offered their suggestions, both on this site and elsewhere, concerning my recent malaise. Your concern and your willingness to help me out are greatly appreciate. I have a few ideas to make my life a bit more interesting for a while, or at least to shake up the routine a bit, and I find myself once again looking to the coming days with a feeling of excitement. I like that. There are some things in this world that you just can’t control, and even when you think you understand them, they just baffle you again. I guess you can either try to roll with it, or let it sink you… I’m not the world’s greatest speaker, but perhaps I can get my message across with the words of timeless song: “It was the heat of the moment, telling me what your heart meant…”

3 thoughts on “ISAG

  1. Wow. I have to say, since we’ve been playing golf together, I don’t recall you shooting a 63, er…um…just picking that number out from nowhere.

    Its a good think I don’t have an ugly face.

  2. I don’t think anyone should be allowed to complain about life who does not have to serve on multiple committees and whose boss is not in fact a committee.

  3. you forgot to tell what we encountered on our way to meijer last night. come on ron, that had to be the highlight of your week so far.
    well, i gotta go, see ya in a week.

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