Dear Ramblewood.

Dear Ramblewood,

I couldn’t help but notice that the apartment right next to mine is now vacant. As I’m certain you intend to rent this space out to some new people in the near future, I just thought I’d ask.. nay, beg you to do me this small favor:

“Please have girls live there.”

Certainly you would agree that such a demand is not unreasonable, as you no doubt have many applicants, and thus have your choice of who to move in where. This being the case, I have one small addition to my request:

“Please have hot girls live there.”

Grandville is a nice place, with many attractive men and women. While each person’s definition of beauty varies a bit, I think there are certain physical qualities that we would agree lead to an individual being labeled “hot”. Therefore, I leave this judgment in your very capable hands… And while I don’t wish to appear ungrateful for all that you are doing thus far, I have one more addendum that needs addressing:

“Please have hot, single (and therefore available) girls live there.”

I mean, if they’re already taken, what’s the point? Am I right? I knew you’d understand. And you know, since you’re going to all this trouble, You may as well just go all the way:

“Please have hot, single (and therefore available) girls who are [romantically] interested in me live there.”

I give you plenty of money each month. You’re going to do this for me, and you’re going to like it!

Ron Veenstra

7 thoughts on “Dear Ramblewood.

  1. Um, yeah. I have hot girls living near me, and they won’t give me the time of day (they say ‘hi’ to joel, though. Hmm.) I think the various girls around me are romantically involved, though.

  2. I thought they never gave you the time of day because all you do is stare at them through the living room blinds. Seriously, if your going to talk to them the first step you should take would be to introduce yourself.

  3. Dear Mr. Ron Veenstra –

    Thank you so much for your recent inquiry into the unit across the hall from you. We are always happy to hear from our tenants!

    As to the unit in question, you’ll be happy to know that we’ve rented it out to a group of three individuals. I haven’t met them, and I don’t have their files in front of me, but I’m told that they’re “extremely effeminate” and these could only be girls, right? I’m also told that they are very into fashion and show-tunes, so it sounds like you’re in luck!

    We hope you find your future neighbors invigorating, interesting, and (dare I say?) appealing.

    We Care. We Really Do!
    Marcie Rankin
    Tenant Relations, Ramblewood Apartments

  4. I told you to rent out that room at the brothel instead of Ramblewood. It cost that same, and you get all the extra bonuses that you are looking for now.

    But you never seem to listen.

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