grep ‘regret’ my_life.txt

“… Every now and then, even years later, something reminds you of her – a certain smell, a few notes of a song – and suddenly you feel just as bad as the day she told you she never wanted to see you again. If you want to know the honest truth… you never completely get over a woman you really cared about…”

– Paris in Star Trek : Voyager

While searching for some information, I had to parse through some very old emails. (I’ve saved all the emails I’ve ever written, and all that I’ve received, besides spam. I just have.. don’t question it or wonder why, just accept it and move on.) Anyway, I ran across a number of rather old emails, and they made me sad… and made me really mad. It pisses me off that after all this time, I could still really care about someone who seemed to do nothing but cause me pain. Seems like an endless cycle. Someone told me once that the person who cares less is always the one in control of a relationship, and it sucks that it’s true. Essentially, it means if you’re hoping for the relationship to move in the direction you want, you either have to luck out and the person your with is looking for that too, or you have to pretty much not care about it at all, and hope that the other person cares about things more. Bottom line, once you’ve invested yourself, you’re probably completely screwed.

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