Well, it has been made known to me that the events of my life aren’t that interesting, so I’ll try to just recap some highlights, and hopefully segue into something more interesting as I’m going. The goal of this week was pretty much to play Zelda, and I was surprised at how difficult that proved to be.
Monday: So, let me tell you a little about work… Nah, this should describe it: Imagine you’re in your car, and you throw it in neutral, and begin revving the engine pretty hard. You’ve got then engine screaming, the whole thing is ready to explode, so you slam it into drive, and the car takes off. 5 feet later you’re plummeting down a steep, steep cliff. Yeah, it’s a little like that. So just keep that in mind when I say “I worked” or something to that affect. Things just aren’t clicking, and I’m feeling more retarded than usual, which is just really frustrating. I guess maybe it’s a little like being in the middle of the ocean [the ocean/water themes will likely become more common, thanks to Zelda], you might be going full tilt in one direction, but you really can’t perceive any progress being made until you can see your destination on the horizon. So I’m trying to figure out how I can get Perl, PHP, MySql, and Soap to play nicely together. I think I know how the people at the Tower of Babel felt. So after work, I headed home for a little while, then headed to the mall, and went on in to Barnes and Noble, where I read up on Soap, Object-oriented programming, and Web Services for quite some time. I had been told by Software Etc that I could come in on Monday night and pick up Zelda at 10pm, which was pretty sweet, cause it wasn’t supposed to be out until the 26th. So near 10 I left Barnes and Noble, and headed over to Software Etc, where a long line of nerds had already congregated. A guy was dressed up as an elf, and I instantly pitied him.
Standing in line was an unusual feeling. One the one hand, I could look at these people, [well, most of them] and feel pretty good about myself. My personal hygiene, choice of attire, and general mannerisms and speech habits put me [I felt] a few notches higher on the whole evolutionary ladder from most of these guys…. but at the same time, I recognized the fact that I belonged in this line, and I fit in this line. I listened to a conversation going on between a few guys ahead of me, and caught myself thinking “wow, that guy has a frightening wealth of information about Gamecube games that have been released, what a huge nerd.”… then minutes later thinking about this same guy “Idiot, Microsoft bought out Rare, so we’re not likely to see a Perfect Dark game from them on the cube…I’m a huge nerd.”
When I got near the front of the line, I got a call from Kristin, whom I had not seen in quite some time [she had, unbeknownst to me, gone off to California for Spring Break], so we met up at TGI Fridays there in the mall, and hung out there for an hour or two. Good stuff. That Tom Collins is a nice guy, and if he asks to sit at your table, just go ahead and say “sure”… So after getting the update from Kristin on her many adventures, I headed back home, and prepared a bit more for the work meeting I had Tuesday morning. I managed to look through the Zelda manual, but that was it. I realized if I started playing, I wouldn’t go to sleep.. and while that wouldn’t have been a huge deal ordinarily, you have to remember the whole car plummeting down a giant chasm, and me starting to freak out about it, and you start to see where I’m coming from.
Tuesday: Tuesday was my meeting in GR with Dave, Brian, and Alan. We met at this coffee place called “At the Grind”. Free wireless internet, good coffee, decent music.. A nice place. The girl behind the counter declared her instant but undying love for me [with her eyes] shortly after I entered. I was pleased. The meeting itself was fairly productive, and helpful. There’s still a number of things I’m uncertain about, and a few things that remained to be solved/decided on, but a batch of fairly annoying questions were answered, and the next round of things to do are now more clearly defined. So it’s a start. While I was there, my friend Tim Vroom showed up, so that was kewl.
After the meeting, I headed back home, and spent the rest of the afternoon trying to figure out what exactly it was that we had figured out in the morning. Then, finally, I started up Zelda. => joy (joi) Noun: 1. To fill with ecstatic happiness, pleasure, or satisfaction,. Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. I’ll devote an entire dealio to Zelda at some point, as it warrants it. So while I was playing, I got a message from Josh, so I headed off to Zeeland to play some basketball, which was also excellent. Did I mention how glad I was that it was getting warm? Yeah. Warm is joy. So I played basketball for a while, then headed home. Eventually Cathy came over, and we hung out with her for a while, then I headed off to the Pickwick.
Wednesday: After work, I headed straight to Mindy’s place, ate dinner with Mindy, Julie, and Sven, then played cards til Late. Tuuk had let me borrow this book, No More Mr. Nice Guy. It’s a self help book, and I’ll admit I was skeptical. I had been reading through it bit by bit for the last few weeks, and there were parts I thought were helpful, but for the most part, I perceived the argument to be something like this: I, as a self diagnosed “Nice guy” believed that by being “nice” and seeking to constantly do “the right thing” I would achieve my desires. This thinking is flawed, and therefore ought to be altered. I should assert my own desires, and yada yada yada…” Basically, the first read through, I assumed the book was saying “In this world, only jackasses get what they want, so the trick is to be a jackass.” Anyway, when I got back home Wednesday night, I was feeling kinda bad/down about everything, so I decided to just read through the whole book again, this time with an slightly more open mind, and I think it really had some worthwhile things to say. Here’s the deal, I believe that being a “nice guy” and doing “the right thing” are still worthwhile and important, and even if I knew they would not get me the things that I desire, I know I’d still want to live that way. [though without the hope of reward, it would be far more difficult to pull off]. I don’t accept the argument that the thing that achieves your desires is the correct thing. I think it’s very rare for the end to justify the means. That having been said, the book had some good things to say. Granted, it’s easier said than done, but here’s the problems I’ve got to work on:
- Constantly seeking other people’s approval, and basing my own esteem on their approval [or lack thereof].
- Going overboard seeking to hide or cover-up perceived flaws or mistakes in myself.
- Putting other people’s needs before my own [at inappropriate times/in inappropriate ways]
Anyway, yeah, how do I fix them? Not really sure. Are they really big problems? Usually I don’t think so. Did the book provide examples that were so frighteningly similar to my own life that I started to freak out? Yes, yes it did. According to the book, my name is “Todd”.
Most evenings I stayed up way too late talking to Christa, so you can just add that to the end of each one of these.. I seem to recall Wednesday being particularly late, so that’s why I mention it.
Thursday>>: Thursday I worked from home. I had lunch with Mindy at Max and Ermas. Once work was done I played Zelda, and finally got to play for a significant amount of time. That game rules. I got a call from Kristin, and she came on over, we got some Arbys and watched the Wednesday night TV lineup. Complaint: Friends is starting to piss me off again. If they hook Rachel and Joey up again, I think I might be forced to.. eh.. who am I kidding, I’ll still watch it, I’ll just think it’s dumb. And Good Morning, Miami… I still like that show a lot… but I guess you could just stick Ashley Williams and Constance Zimmer on screen reading the phone book and I’d watch… Steve, Mindy, and I were talking Friday night about how the whole Love Triangle plot is so played out in sitcom world that such shows have become less appealing.. Well, I’m still hopelessly addicted to many of them (Ed, Good Morning, Miami, Friends, even Scrubs.. then there was Undeclared, Northern Exposure, Cheers, etc.. etc..) I just love the idea that two people were meant to be together, and you’ve got that one person, usually the guy, that’s willing to do everything and anything to win the girl over… even if it takes years, and he’s constantly set back by events, random chance, and straight out rejection. I’ve never been as captivated as I have been the last 3 years with Ed, but I’ve also never so closely identified myself with one fictional character. Some comparisons just seem to be inevitable, and some similarities are too pronounced to be cast aside as humorous [or unfortunate] coincidences. Anyway, after that, we watched Pleasantville, which I liked quite a bit [I had seen it before], then I headed off to sleep.
Friday: After work, I watched some NCAA basketball for a while [for a while there, I believed myself the future recipient of a fair number of Abe Lincolns, but Maryland, Kentucky, and Duke all suck, I guess. They all get the finger. Friday night at 9 was Ed. So Sven and Mindy came over to watch it, and it was excellent. I’ll admit to loudly shouting “Yes!” near the very end of the episode. [refer back to the whole “I love the guy who constantly tries to win over the girl” speech from last paragraph.] Sigh.. There is an image that [to those who know what’s going on] can fully describe exactly what I’d give just about anything for… I’ll try to get that image, and put it here soon.
Saturday: Got up around noon or so, took a trip out to GR, then played some Zelda til I got a call from Kenton. Headed in to Holland and got my Tux fitted for Kenton’s wedding, then met with Kenton, Selena, and her brother at JP’s [coffee house]. Hung out with them for a few hours, and it was good stuff… Yeah, Tuuk, you were right, this is boring.
Anyway, what I (re)learned this week:
- My mood is far too dependent on things I can not control… like girls.I also have no idea how to change this.
- When I’m lost and frustrated at work, writing down everything I have to do, no matter how small a step, really does help.
- When the day is long, and you get a bunch of like-minded, slightly frazzled guys in a room, it’s inevitable that they’ll [we’ll] regress to 12 year olds.
- Zelda is pure joy.
- I am neither as good as I believe I am, nor as bad. I am not the catch I think I am, nor am I the pathetic shell of a man I think I am.
- Gas prices will always drop at least 5 cents the day after I fill up, and rise at least 5 cents if I decide to wait until the next day to fill up.
- The telephone is once again my friend