Sunday night, and Adult Swim is on, but currently it’s quite uninteresting, so I thought I’d let my brain ooze out into this textbox. I guess a recap of the last few days is a decent way to start. I last wrote late Thursday night, so I’ll start with Friday. I did not sleep Thursday night. I wanted to, but didn’t. It happens on occasion. It started back in around 3rd or 4th grade, actually. Every once in a while I’d get a thought or two in my head (a dangerous thing) and despite my best efforts, I just couldn’t shake them, and I’d be left awake all night spiraling out of control with these thoughts pounding. The topic varies wildly… I can remember staying up all night back in Cleveland trying to get my head wrapped around the idea that space never ends. It still makes no sense to me, and when I think about it at length I’m forced to believe that our existence is impossible, and none of this is real. I can deal with space being really, really big, but if it’s infinite, then how does that work? Is it like minus one world from Super Mario Brothers where it’s just the same basic thing over and over again and repeated so that you have the illusion of infinity, but really it’s just and endless repetition? (before you go on, click on that stupid minus one world link, cause I looked all over online for an image of it and couldn’t find it, so I had to load up the ROM, and get to the stupid minus one world and take a snapshot, so you’re going to look at it, and you’re going to enjoy it, you hear me? Thank you.) So yeah, endless space has kept me up at night. Women have kept me up all night, only not in the good way (Yeah, for a brief second that felt really good to type, then reality came crashing down like a shot to the back of the head). There’s just too much I don’t understand, and too many things I’ve realized too late. I think if I got to do everything a second time, I’d actually fair quite well. It’s just those random little breaks that never seem to slide my way. No matter how much you try to tilt the playing field in your favor, there’s always some random thing that screws it up. More often than not, that random thing is the fact that I am not, in fact, the last man on earth, and near as I can tell, hell hasn’t frozen over. Once I’ve got those two things taken care of, I’ll have it made in the shade. I seem to have gotten off subject.
Friday morning I finally just got out of bed, and I wasn’t that tired. I headed on into work, and spent much of the morning figuring out architecture things for the next iteration of The Bible Gateway, which I hope to start hacking away at very soon. If it all comes together the way I have it on paper, this thing is going to be very, very slick, and I’ve been anxious to actually write code on it for a while now. I think Prof. Vander Linden would be proud of the good Software Engineering approach we’ve taken, with Requirements Docs, User input, Prototypes, Mock-ups, Architecture Docs, Database ERDs, etc… We’ll see if such things really do work in the real world. Thus far they seem to have. Anyway, after that was more or less done (at least the draft that I wanted to get feedback on), the day dddrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaagggggggeeeeddddd… horribly. When it was finally near 5, I rejoiced, and Dave and I left (Joel had already left to head off to California). When I got to my car at the meeting point, I started it up, then hopped out to scrape off the ice, as it had been raining/snowing off and on all day. I hopped back into my car and tried to back out. Nothing.. So I looked forward to see all the dashboard lights on. I was not pleased. So I tried to start up the car.. Nothing again. Not pleased. After much creative problem solving attempts to get the car started, or get the key out, and much profanity, I realized that the shifter was in reverse, and that I have severe brain damage. Popped it into park and started it up. This is just one of the many every day examples of why it’s so hard to be me.
I had promised my cousin, Mindy, that I’d go with her to some party that was going to have a number of girls that went to my High School. So I got home, showered, shaved, and got myself looking pretty. I grabbed Cranium then headed off to Mindy’s place… It had started snowing earlier, as I had mentioned, so there was a nice layer of snow covering a hidden layer of ice. So the drive to Mindy’s place was an adventure. I slid right though 2 lights when trying to turn left. Snow sucks. Finally got to Mindy’s, and we headed off… only she wasn’t all that sure where it was, and I had no clue. Did I mention it was snowing, and that snow sucks? So after driving slowly around for an hour or 2, we decided to just screw it (we weren’t super keen on going anyway). So we headed off to the mall. I reserved my copy of Zelda, and thus destroyed any possibility of fulfilling a wonderful yet altogether horribly unlikely dream that I had a while back. I then got a ton of my Christmas shopping done, which was very good, and got some new jeans to replace the pair I destroyed a few weeks ago during the marathon football game. Then we headed off to Max and Ermas, (you were wondering how long it would take before I mentioned my 2nd home, weren’t you?) and talked for quite some time. Then we headed off to her place, I wrapped up a number of the gifts I bought, and then headed on home.
I woke up Saturday morning determined to get something accomplished. I had had trouble sleeping again, a more and more common occurrence lately, so I figured if my mind was going to be spinning, I may as well get some good accomplished in the meantime. So I decided to clean the house. A serious, thorough cleaning this time. I made it through my room rather quickly, as I had cleaned it a few days earlier during a bout of sleeplessness. I then moved on to the dining room, then the kitchen… The oven alone took me a few hours.). I finally made it to the living room, and solved a looming DVD shelf space shortage problem. By now I had been cleaning for about 6 hours, and was starting to lose my enthusiasm for getting things accomplished, so I called up Steve and Julie to see what they were up to. They headed over a little while later, and we all headed out to Best Buy, where I found the flat-panel monitor I want. But Julie and I both flipped Tails, so I didn’t buy it (Steve’s flip of Heads was the cause of great inner conflict.. shoulda gone best 3 of 5). After some Christmas shopping there at Best Buy, we headed off to Max and Ermas, as I hadn’t eaten yet, and I knew Tressa was working Saturday. I enjoyed one of the finest tasting beers I’ve had in quite some time. We then headed off to Value City, because I’m looking for a new couch for my room. When they kicked us out, we headed to Meijer to do some grocery shopping (my life is sounding more and more exciting to you, isn’t it… Well, it’s one thing to do these things, and another to read about someone else doing it.. Yeah, I’ve got nothing.). Afterwards, it was back to Steve and Julie’s for some 3 Person Euchre, then it was off to home, to find that my roommate Matt rules:
(If you didn’t know, I’m a big fan of penguins.). I then proceeded to finally startup a one player game of Zelda, and ended up playing for a few hours.
Today was uneventful. I played Zelda for a little while, and got the Master Sword I finished my laundry. I wrapped the last of my presents (well, I wrapped them until I ran out of paper, the rest are just going unwrapped. And that was about it. I did a lot of sitting around and thinking.
A confession: I listen to Celine Dion. I blame my sister, Kristin. Anyway, I listen to her, and there are a few songs I actually really like. They’re just so sickeningly optimistic and dedicated to this idea that love is real and happiness is possible that I can’t help but hope that it’s true:
When life is empty with no tomorrow
And loneliness starts to call
Baby, don’t worry, forget your sorrow
‘Cause love’s gonna conquer it all, all
When you want it the most there’s no easy way out
When you’re ready to go and your heart’s left in doubt
Don’t give up on your faith
Love comes to those who believe it
And that’s the way it is
You better believe I’m going to be taking some shit for this one at work…
I finally got a hold of my good friend, Christa, the other day. Christa is one of my best friends, despite the fact that I’ve never met her, and never heard her voice. I met her online during my junior year of high school. She made a casual reference to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and I proceeded to talk to her for hours and hours, and we quickly became good friends. She kept me from killing myself through high school. (I’ll leave it to you to decide how hyperbolic that sentence was.) She has been a constant source of support during the very darkest of times, and the fact that I’ve allowed myself to get so busy lately is maddening. Anyway, I got a hold of her finally, and I now we’re just like peas and carrots again, and there was much rejoicing.
[Addendum: It’s 3:30, and the movie was very good. I’m trying to now decide if I should sleep, or just play Zelda until it’s time to work.]