But why can’t it be mine?

Well, first off, a round of applause for Joel for burning me better than I’ve ever been burned before, in my opinion. Not only was it funny, it was a burning personal dig, and he managed to get me to actually say the punchline. I will not be repeating it here.

Well, that was Friday at work. Afterwards, I headed off to Max and Ermas for dinner with Sven and Julie. We got free beer. Membership has its privileges. Then we headed to Best Buy. I’ve likely explained this before, but it’s nonetheless true: When I’m in a “mood” I spend lots of money, usually on electronics equipment. (Mood –> Oftentimes referring to being depressed, but may also include just plain sad, very pissed off, angry, mad, or rejected. 98% of the time this feeling is woman related. The other 2% are due to calculating errors.) The summer after my sophomore year of High School I bought my entire entertainment setup in a matter of weeks. And thus started the never-ending quest to fill giant holes in my soul with unfulfilling but nevertheless expensive purchases. Anyway, my cousin Steve is well aware of this, and is constantly on the lookout for when will be the right time to get me to buy The TV. He’s come close a few times. So we gave it a visit, and I gazed longingly at some flat-panel monitors and Metroid Prime. Thankfully, soon it was time to jet, and we headed off to see Star Trek Nemesis. I thought it was quite, quite good. We also got our Lord of the Rings: Two Towers tickets, so we’re good to go. Afterwards it was off to Fridays, for more beer and wings. I believe the quote “I know a Baggins.. Frrrrrrodo Baggins!” was said at least 1000 times during that hour or two we were there. Julie seemed less than pleased. A call from Deedre towards the end of the evening capped off the good day, though I still managed to screw myself over in typical Ron fashion before drifting off to sleep.

Saturday I woke up late, searching for reasons to get out of bed (and finding few that didn’t involve me magically transforming into someone else (or a giant machine in search of Energon cubes.) I was finally given a good reason to wake up, and then spent the next hour or so experiencing a massive yet altogether unnecesary pulmonary embolism that ended with the sound of the phone. I’m not one for blaming my behavior or shortcomings on other people, typically, but if I could go back in time and completely wipe certain people out of my life, and all ill effects they had on my life could just disappear, I know who I’d get rid of. I spent much of the day (and that evening) reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. Then I headed off to my brother, Jeff’s house. The plan was to watch the Expanded edition of The Fellowship of the Ring. I got there and Jeff had some Trivia questions for me (My family is huge into trivia… well Jeff, my Dad, and I are, anyway) So I took his little test…

*Attention all poor souls that have been forced to endure a class with (Prof.) Jeff Veenstra* Your suspicions are now proven true. He plays favorites big time, and his scoring system is shady at best. For those of you that have seen Being John Malkovich, remember the scene when John Cusack is trying to guess the name of that girl, and he just slurs out sounds until she basically gives it away? Yeah.. there was definitely some shadiness.

I just had the most awkward conversation. Words don’t do it justice.

Today was my church’s sunday school program. I was a Rabbi, a Sick man, and a Roman Soldier. It went well. The downside: today one of my sunday school kids called me Mr. Veenstra, and I instantly aged 30 years. Time to get myself a python and a scary house on the corner, so the neighborhood kids can run past screaming “look out for the crazy old man with a snake!”

I got my Max and Ermas Christmas card the other day. It had a note from the new manager thanking me for being such a good customer. After some research I found that I was the only one to get said greeting. There’s a comment there about the patheticness of one’s most fulfilling relationship being with an eatery, but I’ve chosen not to make it.

You know.. some people surprise you in a good way, and some people surprise you in a bad way… then there are the people that constantly do one or the other. In a completely related note, I desire magical powers.

4 thoughts on “But why can’t it be mine?

  1. my name was in this one so i thought it would be appropriate to comment, especially since i figure half the stuff in your posts about the anonymous someone are me anyway. might as well let the masses know i exist.

  2. ok, that was the most cryptic entry ever. If you intend no one else to know what you’re getting at, maybe you could just make your own heiroglyphics or something. Then you could just write “Palm tree, bird head, max and ermas, lizard, Deerdra, bird-eating-lizard, zelda zelda max and zelda.”

    Or maybe that’s a bit hyperbolic, but you do have more than your quota here of dangling references.

    And in an effort to improve situation, I petition that Joel get his comment on and tell us about the best zinger ever.

    Also, I agree about the magical powers. Nothing has been working for me, no matter how many times I shout “I am the servant of a secret fire, wielder of the Flame of Arnor!”

  3. I want ron to tell the ‘best zinger ever’ story, b/c I bet he tells it better.

    Also, Ron can relay yet another zinger (this one delivered via IM) if he so chooses. I was proud of that one, too.

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