Out of my mind.

Ever wake up with something on your mind that you know will completely consume your mind all day? And within an hour of your waking, you already know that the day is not going to be a good one, because of this line of thinking you can’t possibly eject from your mind… and it’s not even as though the thoughts are unpleasant.. They might be quite wonderful, actually, but the thoughts all have to inevitably lead to some predetermined (often by someone who is not yourself) conclusion, and it’s that conclusion that is driving you slowly (or quickly) mad. No idea what I’m talking about? That’s alright. I just know today is not going to be that good… I think I’ll be listening to Pearl Jam – Black on an endless loop today.

4 thoughts on “Out of my mind.

  1. I’ve had that, sort of… for the last week or so. It happens to me when I start to think about what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. Post-college is really something that you can’t explain to someone in college. No one ever told me it was going to be like this, but I think that if they tried I wouldn’t have understood. But it can be good… I think.

  2. Yeah. I totally understand that. I think I still have a week every month and a half or so where I completely freak out and wonder if I’m doing what I should with my life, and what I should do differently, and try to think of what I should do to be happy…. I don’t know…. Sometimes it just seems that everything, while not exactly wrong, isn’t quite right. It’s a strange feeling.

  3. I seem to have it on a semi-regular basis where I just get really down on everything, especially myself. It seems to not-so-coicidentally coincide with some sort of personal failure, usually with a member of the opposite sex. And I just feel incrediblly lonely.. and my all-star solution is to lock myself in my room and pray to God that someone will magically deliver me from that wretched state.
    But lately the feelings have been different. I’m still really lonely a lot of the time, but it’s less a sad, helpless “i’m all alone and no body loves me” kind of feeling, and more of a “I’ve got all these feelings, and no place to put them” kind of thing. I’m not sure if I’m making any sense…. It’s like I have a billion things to say, but I can’t find any words to express them.. and even if I could, I don’t think I’d get a chance to sayy them.. and I don’t know what to do with that.

  4. i’m shocked at how accurately the three of you describe some of my very feelings.

    some of ron’s quotes make me think of “magnolia”. perhaps a viewing would be in order.

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